In my experience, living with someone who is in a long-distance relationship similar to yours is not as weird or scary as it may seem. While you may be worried about the way the room is shared, or how late they’ll be on the phone, it’s actually much easier than you may expect. In fact, it’s even comforting.
My roommate and I are both in long-distance relationships and have been since the beginning of this year. At first, there was a weird sort of fear. I found myself thinking, “what is their relationship like?” or “what if their significant other ends up visiting all the time?” But, these fears ended up dissipating and gave way for a better long-distance experience.
Rather than viewing your long-distance relationships as a source of competition or fear, it instead can end up being a source of comfort and a way to bond with your roommate. Many people in relationships don’t often gush about how great their significant other is or what an awesome relationship they have to other people. It just seems kind of rude, and honestly, people hardly ever care after about five minutes. However, when you and your roommate both haven’t seen your significant other in a month or so and you receive a cute impromptu text, you have someone sitting one bed over to gush about it to. Odds are, they won’t get annoyed, because they’ll do the same thing back once you’re done. In this way, having a roommate going through a situation similar to yours makes you appreciate your them more because you know you have someone who cares.
But what about coordinating times when they visit? Honestly, a lot of the time, this isn’t a problem. Nonetheless, it can be an issue you may run into. One weekend, my significant other was planning to come up and visit; last minute, my roommate’s significant other decided to visit, too. Sure, it was a bit cramped having four people live in a small room for two days, but despite the crowdedness and the mess, it actually turned out to be kind of fun. We took turns sharing the room without explicitly having to state it; I’d say that my boyfriend and I were going out to breakfast, and that would be a good time frame for them to have the room to themselves and be alone together. Likewise, when we got back from breakfast, they’d go out to lunch and tell us when they’d be back. The whole weekend had a lot of room for disaster to occur, yet because we both respected each other, we managed to have a carefree and fun time. We all even got to spend time together and know one another better, which was nice after hearing so much about them.
While there is a lot to be scared about when it comes to having a roommate in a similar romantic relationship to you, I suggest waiting before making any judgments. Rather than feeling distraught about a long-distance relationship, reach out to people who are doing the same thing. Simply talking about the whole situation makes it better, especially when you discover that other people are struggling through issues just like yours. They may even be able to offer advice on how they dealt with a tough situation.
In the end, having a roommate also in a long-distance relationship can be really cathartic and fun. As long as you and your roommate have respect for each other, your long-distance relationship will only be made easier by having someone one bed away who understands you in a unique way.