When I first left for my freshman year of college, I was still in a relationship with my high school boyfriend. Before I left, my mom left me with a few words of wisdom. “Don’t let your relationship limit you,” she said, “in college, you meet new people. Relationships develop faster than they would normally because you’re around these people all of the time. Don’t be surprised if you meet someone new.” At the time, it seemed like blasphemy.Two months later, my high school relationship ended abruptly and emotionally. However, as my mom also predicted, I met someone new at a party and we began seeing each other. A few months later, we were in a relationship. It’s been over a year now since I met my goofball and best friend and I wouldn’t go back to being single for a second. Surprisingly though, I have often been questioned about my relationship. “Don’t you want to have fun?” “Do you still go to parties?’ “How do you focus on schoolwork?” The questions are endless and I often find myself trying to defend my relationship to my friends, family, and even strangers. I began to wonder if this is what all college couples faced. What is the experience of the college couple in 2016? I decided to find out. I interview three very different couples to find out what their experience was being in a college relationship.
The first couple I interviewed was Aaron and Emily. Aaron is a sophomore and Emily is a junior. They have been dating for a little over three months. They met while both playing on the Frisbee team and they will both be living in the Frisbee house next year.
When did you know you were ready to make it official?
Aaron: It got to the point where I didn’t really wanna leave to go back to my room and I just wanted to hang out at her house a little bit more than usual. It just felt very good. It felt very right.
Emily: I mean we had been hooking up for a little while before that and, so then I just kinda realized I didn’t really wanna hook up with anybody else.
What is your favorite thing about him/her?
Aaron: She communicates with smiles sometimes and I think it’s absolutely hilarious. Instead of responding, she’ll just give me a smile and it’ll be a request or something.
Emily: How well he treats me and how nice he is to me.
What do you think is the attitude of millenials towards college relationships?
Aaron: I think there’s kind of a gray area when it comes to relationships and hook-ups. I mean there are a lot of people that are hooking up and you don’t really know if they’re in a relationship or not.
Emily: I just think that the attitude is different than with older generations. The hook-up culture is a lot more prevalent than it used to be. People used to go on dates a lot more, but now it’s just like people hook-up at parties.
What is the most negative thing someone has said about your relationship?
Aaron: There have been a lot of people that thought our relationship was random and out of the blue, and I see where they are coming from, but at the same time a lot of the people that express that don’t really understand how similar we are.
How has being in a relationship changed your attitude towards partying?
Aaron: I’ve just been a calmer person in general and I guess that would extend towards partying and the weekends and not really having as much of a motivation to go out and just be an idiot and make a fool out of myself.
Emily: I would agree. Also, whenever my sorority would have closed [parties] with other fraternities I would try and look nice and now I just don’t really care as much about impressing people. I definitely don’t go out as much as I did before.
Have you ever felt pressure to give into college hook-up culture since your relationship began?
Aaron: Not at all.
Emily: Nope.
Does being in two different class years affect your relationship?
Aaron: Not as of yet, but I’m aware that it will.
Emily: I would say a little bit. Obviously, it’s going to be weird when I graduate and he’s still here, but then also, I feel weird sleeping in the dorm I lived in last year. Aside from that, not really.
You guys are living in the same house next year. How do you think that will be?
Aaron: It’ll be very interesting because it’s gonna be completely different from this year in a lot of ways. As long as we are responsible about how we allocate our time between friends, each other, work, just hanging out, it’ll be alright.
Emily: I mean we are both gonna have singles in the house and, to be honest, we usually spend nights together anyways so I don’t think it will change that much.
What is one piece of advice you have for a new college couple?
Aaron: Be responsible and allocate your time properly between all the other things in your life.
Emily: Can I say the same thing?