The last couple I interviewed was Justin Ballasy and Amanda Capasso. They are both sophomores. They met through the dance dept. They were officially dating for 10 months and then decided to take a break from each other. They are currently in the process of getting back together.
What is your favorite thing about him/her?
Amanda: I love his smile and his eyes. He has this inner child and happiness that comes out when he smiles and it just makes me so happy.
Justin: She’s very supportive and genuine and she means everything she says. Oh, and I also love her eyes.
What do you think is the attitude of millenials towards college relationships?
Amanda: I feel like my friends are very supportive of relationships. They aren’t necessarily looking for relationships, but they’re very supportive in mine and other friend’s [relationships].
Justin: I don’t know, a lot of my friends, especially because they’re guys, like the whole hook-up scene and all that stuff. At the same time, one of my best friends had a girlfriend for a really long time and they broke up and he was like, “oh, I’m single. I guess I can go out now, but, I really miss what I had.” I guess a lot of people aren’t necessarily looking for it because they are attracted to the scene of going out and partying, but if it happens they are happy to keep it.
What is the most negative thing someone has said about your relationship?
Amanda: Someone said that our difference in behavior- he’s very outgoing and I’m very reserved- this one person assumed that he was controlling. It was that he was controlling me and that’s why I’m so reserved when, actually, it’s that I’m not that kind of outgoing person.
Justin: I was going to say the same thing. On various occasions, people that don’t know anything about our relationship with just make assumptions about us. If Amanda’s upset about something, a friend will call me and be like, “you did this, this, and this…” Then, I’ll call Amanda and she will be like, “I don’t know why that happened.”
How has being in a relationship changed your attitude towards partying?
Amanda: I never partied at all. He introduced me to party scene and he’s not even really a partier. It’s more of the “hang out, chill” scene. When I met him, I thought he was this major partier just because I’ve never done anything. I slowly just kind of got more comfortable with it. It’s an occasion that we will go out and do something, but, usually, we’ll just be chilling together with friends.
Justin: In the beginning of freshman year, I didn’t go out at all. I started wanting to go out because in high school I didn’t party at all. So, I kinda got into the partying scene, but then I met her and we started hanging out more and I was going to parties, but it was boring because I didn’t want to meet anyone new. I didn’t really wanna get drunk when I could just sit with her in my room and eat ice cream. It got less attractive.
Have you ever felt pressure to give into college hook-up culture since your relationship began?
Amanda: No, we were a thing since the beginning of freshman year so everyone knew. I never felt like there was never any pressure for that college hook up scene.
Justin: I agree with that. I don’t really have an attraction to it and I also think it’s kinda nasty, going out and hooking up with random people. So, I never really was into it.
How has the summer affected your relationship?
Amanda: That was so rough. I was away for five weeks and he was away at Summer Music Theater and then I was on vacation. Communication was hard. I would be dancing, or he would be in rehearsal. Our schedules just didn’t match up. Once we were done dancing and we were able to hang out more it got better, but then we both went away again and it got rough. We had only been dating for 6 months and we were so reliant on each other, so not having him there was tough.
Justin: It was definitely hard. The last few weeks of school year we were been hanging out more and talking about the summer more because we knew this was gonna be hard. She literally had every single time she is available for the summer written down. There were a lot of things during the summer that were really hard to deal with on our own and we were far from each other, not even able to talk when we needed to. We made it through the summer, though.
You guys broke up for a little bit and are now in the process of getting back together. What made you give it another shot?
Amanda: He was very about me taking time for myself and I just never stopped talking to him.
Justin: We would just be talking about us breaking up and I would be like, “I can’t help you because I’m the one who did this.” We broke up, because I knew that the only way we were gonna have the time that that we needed to think on our own was to take a break from each other and we couldn’t do that together. I had to put my foot down and end it. And then, we didn’t talk for awhile and then she started texting me again. I started to help her through us breaking up and then I was like, “I don’t know why I’m doing this. I clearly want to still be with you.”
What did you learn from your time apart?
Amanda: I learned how to communicate my thoughts and feelings. I had to learn to get my thoughts across in a more efficient way. Also, I had to do things on my own. I didn’t realize that because I spent all of freshman year in a relationship so I didn’t know how to do anything on my own. I always had someone like, “Hey wanna go get water from GQ at 11 at night?” It was always a partner thing. I realized I don’t need to be so heavily reliant.
Justin: I learned how much I relied on her. Even though, I knew it was gonna be hard when I broke up with her, but I knew we needed time apart. Also, her doing things to show me she wanted to be with me was important to me. So, I learned that we could be together and that we needed to be together. Even when we were apart, I felt like we were working to be together again.
What is one piece of advice you have for a new college couple?
Amanda: Remember that you’re each individuals and a couple. I think that, for me, I was like, “it’s Amanda and Justin.” I’m a part of him and he’s a part of me. So, when we broke up, it was tougher. Realize that if you want to be in a relationship, commit, but still be yourselves and be accepting of who you are individually.
Justin: Be able to separate. Be able to do things because you want to do them and the other person accepts that. They are still a person who does things on their own and, before you came along, they were doing things. They had a life. You are an addition to their life. Make sure the person you’re with adds to your life.