The next couple I interviewed was Alex Womer and Taylor Phillips. They are both sophomores and have been together for a year and a month. They met because they were in the same orientation group. Both of them came into college with relationships that ended. They have been living together this past school year.
When did you know you were ready to make it official?
Alex: There was just this moment after one night when we had hung out and we just had a really good night with each other. I woke up the next morning and just sat there and thought to myself, “that was the most amazing night of my life.” It was really just a splendid, lovely night and I had realized how great a relationship would be for us.
Taylor: When we started dating, it was basically right after I broke up with my other boyfriend. I went to his (Alex’s) house for spring break because I live in California so I couldn’t go home and we were best friends. So, we were hanging out at his house, having a great time, and I was kind of just like, “shit, this is way better than my boyfriend.”
What is your favorite thing about him/her?
Alex: Her perseverance. She works harder than anyone else I know and it’s just amazing how dutifully she applies herself and how unrelentingly she will always push me to apply myself further too.
Taylor: I love the fun that he has with everything. He’s always so energetic and like, “let’s do this. Let’s do that. Let’s be creative and think of new things…”
What do you think is the attitude of millenials towards college relationships?
Alex: I think the millennial generation, which we are a part of, as a whole is maybe not the most for it. As we go into college, things we hear about are just date rape culture and just party culture and stuff like that. I never saw myself in a serious relationship in college, especially after coming out of a serious relationship right before college. So, my opinion beforehand was probably the same as most millenials, but, at this point, I’m for it.
Taylor: I remember in high school, a teacher was telling us that college is the best place to find a significant other that you’re gonna be serious about, because it’s the only time you’re gonna be surrounded by people who are interested in education and have the same passion and interests that you do. It kinda sucks that the culture is hook-up and that’s what people want to do because this is a great time to grow and learn from relationships.
What is the most negative thing someone has said about your relationship?
Taylor: We live together, so I feel like that’s something that people are like “wow.” My mom was kinda like, “you’re making a big commitment by staying with him because what if you want to break up? You can’t because you’re living together.” But, me and Alex have a real understanding. If things are going wrong, it’s ok and we will work things through and if we need to break up then we will break up.
Alex: ORS is good about helping people in situations where they need help. Yes, we are living together, but that’s easily nullified because we know that there is a way out.
Have you ever felt pressure to give into college hook-up culture since your relationship began?
Alex: No. That was the place I was living in after getting out of that prior serious relationship, but I’m very committed now.
Taylor: Well, I was never into that.
Is there less romance in college relationships?
Alex: It’s really about what you’re willing to do. It’s really wonderful that we live together because college is one of the most busy times of our lives. I know some other couples on campus where the girlfriend won’t see the boyfriend for a week or so. They don’t really get to spend time together because they are so busy. I love living with her because no matter how hard the day is or what goes on, I know I can sleep in the same bed as her at night.
Taylor: It’s just hard in general to have a lot of romance in relationships in college because we are so busy and that also makes college hard because you so often want to be like, “fuck the homework. Let’s go on a date,” but you need to have that discipline because I am here to do college and not just a relationship.
How has the summer affected your relationship?
Alex: Last summer was really awesome for us because I did Summer Music Theatre here and she did research here so we lived together during the summer and that was wonderful.
Taylor: That was kinda like our way of figuring out, can we live together in the school year? Because if that didn’t work out we probably wouldn’t have lived together now.
Alex: This summer, I’ll be working here and she will be working in San Diego. So we are going to apart for most of the summer. I might see her for a week or two out in San Diego, then in the fall she goes abroad to Tanzania. So, we have a lot of long-distance ahead of us and that’s just a new challenge in our relationship.
What is one piece of advice you have for a new college couple?
Alex: Don’t be afraid to show each other your emotions and talk about it. I feel like people are often so hesitant to open up to their significant other and it’s really simple once you do it and I feel it’s really rewarding.
Taylor: That’s basically what I was thinking too. Communication is just so important and a lot of people are afraid to tell their true emotions. If they are having relationship problems, they go to their best girl friend, but Alex is the person I go to if I have problems with him because he’s the one that will be able to work it out. If he doesn’t know about it, how is he going to fix it?