Valentine’s Day: the long-awaited holiday for all couples across the world yet dreaded for those who are single. There has always been an expectation for people to have someone to love on the special day, but what many fail to see is that it is okay to be single. It gives you the opportunity to be able to love someone important, YOU.
The idea of Valentine’s Day has always irked me. There wasn’t a particular reason why, it was just the idea that I didn’t have anybody to share it with. Watching my friends get their first partners was exciting yet scary to me. Questions raced through my adolescent brain. Questions like, “What if I never find anybody to love?” or, “Why do I not have a boyfriend?” What I didn’t realize was that it was okay to be single at that age or any age. I hadn’t yet learned who I was, and I definitely wasn’t ready for a commitment to another person.
These things began to take over my life. I became jealous of what my other friends had and the media didn’t help either. Relationships seemed unescapable. I saw people break up who I thought were supposed to be together forever and I felt hopeless. I thought I was going to be alone forever.
What I realized though, was that the goal of my life was not to get married and have a family. It was to pursue my dreams and find a life for myself that I love. If I get into a relationship during that time, then great. If not, that is okay.
Learning to be okay with your own company is a lesson that takes a long time to learn. I am still in the process of doing that. It takes being by yourself for a while and learning that it is okay to be alone. You do not have to be alone forever. You have loved ones who are there and care about you. Valentine’s Day does not have to be spent with a romantic partner. It can be spent with friends or even completely by yourself. Don’t let a day define you.
The idea of Valentine’s Day no longer bothers me. I have learned to spend it as a day to love myself. I have taken it as a day to take care of me and my health, and I have taken it as a day to practice the relationship I have with myself and love the person I have grown into.
Do not change yourself for a societal expectation. The idea of dating a person can be scary, but the idea of changing yourself for something society deems as a requirement is scarier. In short, break societal norms. Be your own partner. Realize that it is okay to be you.