What’s In a Name

Originally performed live at Mount Holyoke College’s Noche Latina on October 13, 2023.

Is it that hard?

Seriously, is it that hard?

It’s right there on my badge.

In bright, bold, blue lettering.

Manuela.

Not

Manwila

Manuel

Emmanuel

Young Lady

Or Worst Of All

Rubella.

Rubella? Seriously?

I got vaccinated against that when I was five

not because they threatened to send me out of school

but because my mother loves me

and doesn’t argue with strangers on Facebook

about fake science.

I hear you whispering behind the counter about my name.

Thinking I don’t listen.

But you see,

back where I’m from,

we whisper about the uniquely American act

of gunning down schoolchildren 

we whisper about the uniquely American act

of rationing insulin

so you see

whisper all you want. 

Make sure that in your whispers you mention 

that my name means God is with us

and it’s beautiful and powerful and uniquely Brazilian.

That’s where I’m from, you know. I’m wearing the shirt. It’s right in front of ya.

Not Miami. I love Miami, but I was never from Miami. I never will be.

I’m from Rio de Janeiro. 

The place I fled many years ago

but the place that to this day makes me

and we don’t speak Spanish there.

Some like to invoke the saying ignorance is bliss

but I reckon your ignorance is just ignorance.

Your ignorance makes me hold back tears in the patient check-in area

Your ignorance makes me feel hollow on the bus ride home

Your ignorance makes me feel erased.

Your ignorance makes me feel ignored.

You’re ignorant because you don’t care.

Even if we were gunning down schoolchildren

or punishing cancer patients with a lifetime of debt

you wouldn’t care enough to whisper.

Next time you whisper, because I know I’m cool enough to be talked about,

make sure to use the right name.

Manuela.

Manuela.

Manuela.

It can’t be that hard, can it?