Season’s greetings, fellow zombuffs!
And by season, I mean Halloween season, of course! Happy October! Or, at least it will be when this article is published. I wait with baited breath to wake up tomorrow to a glorious, crisp October morning. It’s finally supposed to drop below 70 degrees. Maybe I’ll wear pants! While the high of what must surely be everyone’s favorite season is just beginning, I come to you bearing more eviscerated fruit. And by fruit I mean zombie movies. Of course, because what else is there to talk about? Though I readily await my favorite month, and the glorious celebration that comes with it, I may have fallen behind on my zombie-watching habits juuuust a little. Luckily, I’m prepared for this. I have plenty of zombie movies on reserve in the back of my brain, just waiting to be reviewed. Here are four of those flicks that have patiently waited their turn to be featured. Enjoy, my ruthless readers!
For those who are new to the series, I have, against my better judgment, committed to watching every zombie movie ever, and you lucky folks get to join me for the ride!Â
Each review will include my personal rating, a bit about how effective I think the movie is as a zombie film, a bit about the zombies themselves, and occasionally a few fun facts. Reviews will also include the zombie type (where they originate from), class (features/how survivable they are), and spread (self-explanatory).Â
Beware: may contain spoilers.
1- Slither, 2006 (4/5 brains)
I only watched this for Nathan Fillion. And because of the whole “I’m watching every zombie movie ever” thing, but that’s less important than Nathan Fillion. He’s my wubby. Also, I’m not sure if this is a zombie movie in the traditional sense. In any case, the alien worm creatures take over people’s bodily functions and brains and are trying to spread and search for hosts, all of which fit my personal definition of a zombie. I’m sure the slither-people aren’t alive anymore. Either way, it’s gross. My favorite. Endearingly campy, amazing practical effects, and excellent acting (If you can’t tell, I’m not biased at all). There is also a surprising lack of stupid decisions, which always makes a horror flick more fun! However, I’m not sure if I’m giving this a 4/5 because it was really that good or because the last zombie movies I watched were so, so incredibly bad.
Type: parasitic, Class: mutated, Spread: alien
2- Flu, 2013 (2/5 brains)
Bad parenting 101. How do you manage to lose your kid not once, but multiple times  while the world ends around you. People are out here ripping each other to shreds, and you let your kid just do whatever? Don’t piss me off. And are we just going to go back to normal and ignore the giant body pit? With the bodies? The giant pit of bodies of normal, possibly non-infected people? This whole movie was a s***show. Don’t be like these people.
Type: Viral, Class: deadly, Spread: Airborne
3- Night of the Living Dead, 1968 (2/5 brains, but like, more brains for history’s sake)
Okay, I know this is a classic. Like, deep in my heart of hearts, I know I have this movie to thank for all of the wonderful, amazing zombie movies that I hold dear. I have this movie to thank for Pontypool. I gotta remember that. But oh, my stars. This movie is capital-b BORING. It could be because I’m watching it now that I’m 20 and it’s not an introduction to horror for me, like it might have been for many other people. Wow, was I falling asleep. You absolutely need to watch it if you have any interest in zombie movies, just for the historical context. But it’s definitely a product of its time, and you can tell through the crawling plotline and the inadequate responses of the characters to every situation. Watch the movie. Maybe journal or draw or something in the background, I don’t know.Â
Type: Children, Class: sapient, Spread: Bite, plant spore
4- The Girl With All the Gifts, 2016 (5/5 brains– woah.)
Oh, this one was interesting. I can always get behind a semi or fully sapient zombie. The idea that the only zombies that can still be mostly “normal” are children? Insane. The movie really makes you think about how you would react in this situation– would you be like most of the guards, who can only see the carnage of the outside world when they look at these children? Would you be able to find the humanity in them? Could you possibly fathom that these sweet, innocent children who only want to learn and play could rip you to shreds if you got too close? Would you forget the danger? Our main character is incredibly kind and brave and caring and knows she doesn’t want to hurt her human friends, but she’s only a child. And she makes childlike decisions. So, it all makes you think.
Type: infected, Class: shamblers, Spread: Bite, radiationÂ
There you go, four neatly packaged zombie movies with a nice human-skin bow on top to leave you off with. All of the films in this list made me excited to watch and happy to have seen, in some way or another. It feels like it’s really been a while since I could recommend more than one or two movies in one of these articles. I hope you give them a chance! In any case, I’ll be back next week with five more movies, freshly watched and reviewed. No more filler for a little while. I hope. See you next week, if we’re both still kicking!Â