At the beginning of the semester I made a stupid, stupid decision.
You see, I wanted to have a thing. I have hobbies, both physical and artistic, and I have interests I don’t shy away from talking about. But I wanted a thing, something solid and completed, that would make me an expert. Some people go to every Taylor Swift concert, some people have collected first-edition copies of every Sherlock Holmes book, and I will have seen every zombie movie. Those who know me know that I am already a huge horror buff and enjoy genres from across the medium; and those who don’t know me learn this soon after meeting me. So, in order to cement myself as a thing-haver, as an expert in some field, I have recently taken it upon myself to watch every single zombie movie. Ever. And oh, god, there are so many. Why did I do this? Why am I doing this? It’s simply far too late to go back.
It’s going to take me a while (help me) to get through these, so while I do, I figured I should chronicle my experiences.
To begin this epic of glorious and bloody zombie reviews, we start with six(-ish) zombie movies that even those at the tip of the undead iceberg will have heard of – with an exciting sleeper hit to end the first chapter.
Each review will have my rating, a bit about how effective I think the movie is as a zombie movie, maybe a bit about the zombies themselves, and sometimes a few fun facts. Reviews will also include the zombie type (where they originate from), class (features/how survivable they are), and spread (self-explanatory).
Beware of minor spoilers.
1- World War Z (4.5/5 brains)
Trailer: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slfrrjPndV4]
Remember that movie you used to see trailers for with that huge pile of zombies clawing over themselves to scale an entire wall? Yeah. That’s this movie. And you’ve never seen plot armor quite like this before. To be honest, I’m willing to let Brad Pitt survive because he’s just so damn fun to watch punching zombies. This is the classic fast-paced zombie action movie and a staple in the zombie genre for a reason. The zommies are scary, the threat is real, and the spread is fast. I love the cure idea in this movie and the concept of the virus wanting healthy hosts alone. World War Z proves that zombie movies can be simple action flicks and still give the audience something to chew on. I can’t give it full points only because the book is better.
The .5 is for the casting director. You’re telling me Peter Capaldi, most widely known for his role in the hit show Doctor Who, plays an epidemiologist working for the World Health Organization and his title in the credits is “W.H.O. Doctor?” Absolutely genius.
Type: Infected, Class: Sprinters, Spread: Bite
2 – The 28 Series (5/5 for the first movie and 2/5 brains for the second)
Trailer: [https://youtu.be/7suz9ndPBHg?si=7_pL6fpLsTVAiS4F]
The first movie, 28 Days Later, is a work of art. We get to see the military’s response, the evolution of patriarchy as the world falls down, a badass woman hitting zombies with a bat, and a good father-daughter relationship? I love the depiction of zombies as more like rabid animals instead of the undead, and the intro shots panning across a decimated London have become a horror staple for a reason. The memorable, haunting theme has earned its spot on my playlist. Oh, and Cillian Murphy is in it too I guess.
The second movie? 28 Weeks Later? I barely remember. Martin Freeman is in it to replace the celebrity cast of Cillian Murphy, and while he acts his best, his character is… meh. The bad choices made by the characters in the first movie can be explained by the sheer panic derived from suddenly facing the end of the world, but the bad choices in the second one are made after years of experience dealing with zombies. What made them think cramming hundreds of people into a dark room during an outbreak would go well? Why would you ever trust a couple of pre-teens to make good decisions in the literal apocalypse? Also, the concept of the American army stepping in and immediately cleaning things up is a bit funny. You can clearly tell the second movie had a different writer and director.
That being said, Danny Boyle and Alex Garland, the original director and writer, will be returning to the series for 28 Years Later and I, for one, am hyped.
Type: Infected, Class: Rabid, Spread: Bite/blood
3- Train to Busan (5/5 brains)
Trailer: [https://youtu.be/1ovgxN2VWNc?si=2FVCvFO9jUYJPZw2]
A masterpiece. It is rare for a movie to make me cry, much less my mom– who was also in tears by the end. The creatures in this movie are scary enough to force the characters to make understandably bad decisions due to the pressure of the situation. They’re also mean enough to pose enough of an actual threat that the prospect of guns not being entirely effective is plausible. These are the zombies that will keep you awake at night: sprinting, clawing, listening for a single breath to pounce. These are the zombies that have evolved from all the other zombies that came before to be the apex predator. These are some scary, scary monsters.
Type: Infected/Irradiated, Class: sprinters, Spread: Bite
4- Quarantine Movies/Rec (4/5 brains for the two Quarantine movies, 5/5 brains for Rec)
Trailer (for Quarantine): [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYCwlnZ0HVI]
Disclaimer: I have only seen the first Rec movie. The others will be reviewed in a future installment.
Rec is amazing and in Spanish, Quarantine is almost as good in English, and Dexter fans will enjoy Jennifer Carpenter (who plays Debra Morgan) as the main character. The remake is pretty much shot for shot. Rec gets a point for being the original. The government response to the outbreak is unique and the setting of a single, contained apartment building is done quite well. This movie is found footage, which some may take issue with, but the explanation as to why the camera continues to film is pretty solid. There is narrative weight to why a camera crew is there, why they stay there, and why they keep filming, which is a sight for sore eyes that have seen too many stupid found footage movies. The ending takes a turn for the… odd, but is no less effective. Quarantine 2: Terminal takes place in an airport, which is a really cool and interesting setting for a horror movie. Usually, plane-related horror/action takes place on a plane and not in the luggage and loading areas, so the change is refreshing and tense. It also gives frequent travelers a good thought to chew on the next time they fly: a healthy dose of anxiety added on to everything else you have to worry about in an airport.
Type: Infected, Class: Rabid, Spread: Bite
5- Little Monsters (4/5 brains)
Trailer: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-yOxbQvXNI]
The first Rom-Zom-Com on this list! Yes, that’s an actual genre. It’s got funny zombies and romance. And Lupita Nyong’o! Score! I’m usually not fond of this genre, but Little Monsters is just cute and dangerous enough to score some points. The male lead is pretty boring but can be ignored in favor of focusing on the background characters. While the zombies themselves aren’t threatening individually, they do pile up quickly and are effective for the setting. Nobody wants to watch children being chased by sprinters anyway– and I really appreciate the effort that Lupita Nyong’o’s character puts into taking care of the kids and making sure they stay safe, both body and mind. As much as I love horror movies, I honestly love happy endings even more (not that all of the other movies in this article have bad endings). Usually, those two don’t line up, but this movie left me feeling hopeful for the characters.
Type: Infected, Class: Shamblers, Spread: Bite
6- ParaNorman (5/5 brains)
Trailer: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgwSpajMw3s]
The first animated movie on this list! And wow, what a hit. This is one of Laika Studios’ more underrated films. All of the characters are likable and the baddie poses an actual threat. Double homicide. I enjoy this movie immensely. Let’s not even get into the precedent it set for LGBTQ+ representation in animated media. The zombies in this one are definitely there more for a comedic effect than a threat after their introduction, and even become part of the supporting cast by the end. I’m not the biggest fan of goofy zombies, but I do love these guys. I also love the fact that they’re fairly relevant to the narrative and the characters’ backstories. All in all, this movie is a genuinely fun watch and what I’d label a classic animated flick.
Type: Necromantic, Class: Semi-sentient shamblers, Spread: Magic, bite
7- Pontypool (5/5 brains. And by 5 I mean Five Billion)
Trailer: You don’t GET a trailer because you should go watch this movie blind if you’re at least a tiny bit interested from my review.
My favorite zombie movie. One of my favorite horror movies. One of my favorite movies, period. Out of sheer, overflowing love for this movie– I won’t go too much into the details of the zombie logic. You should watch it for yourself. I heavily encourage you; read my summary and watch the movie immediately. Don’t look up the IMDB summary or whatever– it gives too much away. This movie is about a disgraced former radio host who retreated to a tiny broadcasting station in rural Canada navigating the zombie apocalypse from his seat in the soundbooth. Well, he doesn’t know it’s the zombie apocalypse. He only knows that things in the little town of Pontypool are suddenly getting very, very weird, and the calls he’s getting from listeners become increasingly worrying. It’s up to him, his intern, and the station manager to navigate these bizarre happenings entirely over a phone call. I’m telling you, some of these listener call-ins will give you goosebumps on your goosebumps. Excellent concept- the method of infection is entirely unique and completely unavoidable, at least for most of us. When a horror movie is this excellent while only taking place in a single room, you know it’s a gem. That smooth, smooth voice is a plus. The ending is a little weak.
Type: Infected, Class: shamblers, Spread: It’s a secret. Please go watch this movie. Those who know me know I sail the seas, but I paid for this movie.
There you have it! Seven(-ish) zombie movies hot off the press, reviewed by your local horror connoisseur, bloody and ripe for your reading pleasure (from a safe distance, preferably covered in chainmail armor or duct tape). This is only the beginning of my journey through the pits of the undead, and I hope you’ll stick along for the ride.