I don’t know if it’s due to the holiday season, being back in my hometown, or a combination of both, but this past winter break I found myself thinking about my ex. Hey, no shame! It happens to the best of us! Instead of beating myself up about it, I made a sad Spotify playlist and really leaned into it. If you’re like me, crying in the shower or belting out lyrics in the car is going to help you get over someone more than ignoring your feelings would. Whether you’re newly heartbroken or still in the process of healing an old wound, these songs will hit the spot.
- “WYD Now?” Sadie Jean
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This song really knocked me out the first time I heard it. It’s great for when you catch yourself thinking that you saw them in the grocery store, realizing their car is in the parking lot of the shopping mall you’re about to walk into, or wondering if you’ll drive past them on the way into town. It mourns the future you lost with someone, the future that could have been if only… things have changed since it didn’t work out, right? Jean also expresses the complications that arise from trying to move on with someone else while clearly still being hung up on your ex: comparing prospective partners to your ex and wondering if they’re also dating someone new is probably a sign that you haven’t actually gotten over them yet. Although this song hopes for a reunion, let me say this now: this article is NOT a sign to get back together with your ex!!
- “see you later (ten years)” Jenna Raine
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This is the perfect song for those wrong place, wrong time relationships with someone who could’ve been the one. If you like this song, you probably weren’t the one to initiate the breakup, and if you were, it was for reasons other than your feelings for them. “see you later (ten years)” encompasses the same hopeful vibes as “WYD Now?” as Raine expresses their love for someone they hope they’ll end up with again in the future when circumstances align better. This song is best enjoyed with some leftover feelings for your ex that haven’t quite faded yet.
- “Like My Father” Jax
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This is less of a sob song and more of a cheesy, hopelessly romantic ballad. It’s not about an ex, but it is about what you look for in a partner. Whether you’re angry at your ex for not being the caring, funny partner in the song, reminiscing about how they were, or wishing you could find a new relationship like the one Jax sings about, this song can still make you feel all the things if you’re working through a breakup or missing an ex. It can also serve as a reminder that maybe your past relationships were not as rosy as you remember them to be — did your ex really treat you like they should have? “Like My Father” is a super sweet tune that gives a whole long list of expectations that whoever you date next should live up to in order to have the relationship you deserve!
- “Crazier Things (with Noah Kahan)” Chelsea Cutler and Noah Kahan
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This song is great for situations where you’re still hanging on but you know your ex has already moved on from you. The lyrics oscillate between focusing on possibilities of being together again, wishing the ex was easier to forget, and remembering the old relationship. It’s bittersweet, with slivers of anger woven in with the sadness and nostalgia. The song deals with the unfairness typically involved with a breakup, how the pain is never equally distributed, and how, at least from your perspective, the other person always gets off easier than you. “Crazier Things” acknowledges the hurt while still maintaining a shred of hope.
- “Grey” Good Boy Daisy
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“Grey” is probably the song that sounds the most different from all the others on this playlist. It’s less indie and more pop-rock, and definitely angrier. Full of irritation, confusion, and hurt, this song is definitely one to belt out in the car or scream along when you’re home alone. It questions why and how the breakup happened, and details some imperfect characteristics of the individuals in the relationship. There’s also a bit of irony in the lyrics, as the verses detail what was wrong with the relationship while the chorus wonders how such a perfect relationship could have fallen apart. It’s a great example of how looking back on a previous relationship can sometimes have a supercut effect where you only remember the good times, even though you know in your heart that the relationship ended for a reason (or multiple). Turn this one up and dance it all out.
- “is your bedroom ceiling bored? (feat. Cavetown)” Sody and Cavetown
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If you’ve ever pretended to be fine and completely over a relationship in front of others but you know deep down you really aren’t, this one will resonate with you. This song is for all the times you start to miss your ex and feel like you can’t tell anyone else about it, so you keep it to yourself and only let it out when you’re alone in your room. It’s also a great example of how you can miss someone, and that’s a valid feeling to have, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to act on it. The whole song is about how the other person doesn’t know that you still have feelings for them, writing out messages that you don’t actually send to them, and wanting to know their secret for moving on. There’s a way to interpret the song where the person is longing for their ex and hoping their ex is also missing them (which is a fair way to look at it), but I prefer to think of this song as a way to deeply miss an ex without actually wanting to get back together with them. For me, it’s more of a cry for help aimed at anyone who knows how to make the pain go away and let you finally move on.
- “If the World Was Ending (feat. Julia Michaels)” JP Saxe and Julia Michaels
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If only you all truly understood the deep irony of this song ending up on this playlist (my ex may or may not have introduced me to this song). This song is a great heartbreak song because it puts reality first and foremost: things didn’t work out, you’ve broken up, and the separation happened for a reason. At the same time, it allows you to miss them and be hopeful about a reunion using a situation that is unlikely to happen so there’s no real risk of being tempted to reach out to them again. It’s a sweet song about how you know that you still have love for someone because you worry about them from time to time and things make you think of them, but you simultaneously know that acting on that love is a thing of the past. It’s also a testament to how long heartbreak can last; this song takes place a year after the relationship ended. Sometimes it’s just not that easy to let go and move on!
- “the 1” Taylor Swift
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This song was released mere weeks after I was dumped, and on the morning that the album dropped I woke up with anxiety at four a.m. Since I couldn’t fall back asleep, I decided to listen to the new album — let me tell you, that was an awful idea. I was not prepared for the emotional roller coaster that the first track on Folklore would take me on when I was already feeling so heartbroken and exhausted. Regardless of my personal poor first experience with “the 1,” it’s probably one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs ever (and she’s got a lot) as well as a top song for me overall. Speaking from experience, this is the quintessential song to listen to if you were the one who was broken up with, and if you’re not exactly sure why it happened. The combination of understanding that change is inevitable and growth can stem from tragedy with feeling the pain of heartbreak and wondering about what could have been is extremely comforting when dealing with a breakup. This song is the perfect example of leaning into sadness and missing the relationship while also knowing that sometimes things happen for a reason. Definitely be prepared to cry during this one!
- “Gold” Trixie Mattel
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“Gold” is a folksy tune about a loving, long-term relationship that experiences a shift in dynamics that ultimately leads to the couple parting ways. It’s particularly good for unexpected splits or relationships where one partner was hanging on even though something felt off. The lyrics are pretty neutral in terms of feelings towards your ex, so it’s a good song to listen to after a breakup no matter how you feel about them; I think it would work relatively equally well for sadness, anger, indifference, etc. I think one of the things I like the most about this song is how the lyrics replace the longing and nostalgia commonly found in breakup songs with uncertainty and bitter acceptance. While many of the other songs on the playlist consider what could have been or reminiscence about the past, “Gold” tells it like it is and asks for guidance on what to do with a failing relationship. Mattel is another favorite artist of mine and this is one of my favorite songs of theirs; there’s just something about it that really speaks to me and evokes a lot of emotion, which is why I highly recommend giving it a try.
- “All Love” FLETCHER
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This is the other heavier, angrier song on the playlist. “All Love” is for when you’re missing someone but angrily, when your ex has without a doubt moved on with someone new, or when your ex makes it clear to you that they don’t have a single feeling for you anymore. It’s also partially about the struggle of maintaining a neutral or friendly relationship with an ex, and how it can really hurt to try if you still have deeper feelings for them. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to leave their ex in their hometown when winter break ends.
If you’re struggling with a breakup or find yourself missing your ex, don’t be hard on yourself, emotions are complicated and there’s no right or wrong way to feel after a relationship ends. If you want to forge ahead and forget about your ex entirely, go for it! But it’s also okay to realize you’re missing them and lean into it a little bit, which is exactly what this playlist was made for. Don’t say I didn’t warn you about how you might feel after listening to it, though!
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