As a first year at Mount Holyoke, one of the major aspects of transitioning to college life is finding what’s actually edible in the dining hall. From my experience, the food in Blanchard is (so far) pretty good for the most part, but what I’ve found to be slightly odd is the sheer amount of tofu served in these dining commons. Even for a liberal arts college with a larger-than-average population of vegetarians and vegans, this seemed out of place. Ranging from attempts to recreate classic comfort foods to ones simply deep fried and covered in sesame seeds, our campus hosts a wide variety of the meat-alternative. Tofu has never been a staple of my diet, which inspired me to jump out of my comfort zone and try the different types of these condensed soy blocks that are ever so prevalent in Blanch. In classic literature, an “epic” typically follows heroic actions or events, and I believe that this tofu-trying task I have partaken in falls under this category. For my firstie peers who have wanted to experiment with the food they put on their plates, this ranking goes out to you, to hopefully advise you on which tofu to try, and what to steer clear from at all costs.Â
- Tofu Marsala (Global)
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Before discussing my rankings, I’d like to make it clear that these rankings are purely subjective, chances are you may enjoy the tofu I dislike and bemoan those I enjoyed. Please do not take issue with my rankings of tofu at a college dining hall. Anyway, at the bottom of this ranking lies the tofu marsala found in the global station. Ultimately, I wasn’t a fan of the flavor, texture, and odd extra layer this tofu bore. Unfortunately, this tofu received a 1/5 star rating from me due to these factors.
- Sun Dried Tomato Pesto Tofu (Classics)
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When researching for this ranking, I found that one of the most important criteria for whether I enjoyed a tofu or not was whether it was able to absorb the flavoring on the outside. Tofu is flavorless, afterall, so its seasoning can truly make or break the overall taste. The sun dried tomato pesto tofu (what a mouthful) from classics failed at this, as it didn’t really have any taste. Additionally, another crucial aspect of tofu is its level of crispness. Tofu in Blanch tends to either be too crisp or not crisp enough, with a rare few falling into the perfect goldilocks zone. While the sun-dried tomato pesto tofu was crisp, it was not crisp enough. Due to these factors, I gave this tofu a 2/5 star rating.
- Jerk Tofu (was a sillier goose than Jorge and forgot where this came from)
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Similarly to its sun dried tomato pesto counterpart, the jerk tofu that’s station was forgotten on my part is pretty flavorless. While there was visible flavoring on the outside of the tofu sticks, the flavor was not absorbed into it, so it just tasted like regular tofu. I was particularly excited for this tofu, as I’ve always wanted to try jerk chicken, so I had hoped this would be a good alternative. To my dismay, it was not. This tofu may have not had much jerk seasoning, but it was truly a jerk to me for being so disappointing. I gave this bland tofu a 2/5 star rating.
- Sesame Tofu (Kosher)
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I have a bone to pick with this tofu. While I initially gave it a 3.5/5 star rating, I realized that after having a few tofu cubes, it had become really unpleasant to eat. The sesame tofu had a very strong buttery aftertaste, which for some may be enjoyable, but I am a firm believer that butter must be eaten in small portions, otherwise it becomes sickening. The tofu was also very salty, to the point where consuming one morsel felt as if I had just downed a salt shaker. While I may have liked this tofu at first, upon further inspection I found that I am not a fan, 2.5/5 stars.Â
- Black Pepper Tofu Stir Fry (Global)
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I tried this tofu in the same meal as the *breathes* sun dried tomato pesto tofu, and I thought it had slightly more flavor, but overall, still pretty mediocre. It received a 2.5/5 star rating.Â
- Fresh Herb Tofu (Classics)
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Now we finally get to branch out into the tofu that I enjoyed! At the classics station, I tried the fresh herb tofu. It had a nice texture and taste, if not a little too herby, but it did its job. Not my favorite thing ever, but a significant improvement from those below it. I am also happy to report that the name is not a misnomer, it did taste pretty fresh. 3/5 stars.
- Cracked Pepper Seasoned Tofu (Classics)
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When writing about this tofu, I worry in hindsight that I only gave it a good rating due to the mood I was in. I was eating lunch with friends after getting back from hiking up the mountain(mountain day!), filled with glee and post-hike high. It was also my last tofu ranking, bringing a sense of relief to me as I was finally free of the shackles of eating these flavorless blocks, a big responsibility I held for the good of the Mount Holyoke people. This was the conclusion of my epic afterall. Despite this, I can say without bias from the activities of that day that the cracked pepper seasoned tofu was pretty good, perhaps a bit too crisp but still enjoyable, 3/5 stars!
- Kentucky Fried Tofu (Global)
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Sometimes you can judge a book by its cover, and the Kentucky fried tofu from global is a prime example of that. It was…fried and held a bit of a Kentucky taste. Colonel Sanders would be proud, 3.5/5 stars.
- Tofu Broccoli Toss (Halal)
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Maybe I’m biased as a Muslim student, but in all honesty the tofu broccoli toss was tasty enough. Unlike many on this list, this tofu had a strong flavor, a nice sweet and sour taste, plus it paired very well with its accompanying broccoli and noodles, due to this I bestowed upon it 3.5/5 stars!
- Soy Barbecued Tofu (Global)
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Oftentimes in epic stories, the protagonist searches for something, one that will bring them happiness. For me on my epic tofu journey, that was the soy barbequed tofu from the global station. Never have I been as content as when I had my first bite of that soy item. The flavor: tangy. The texture: chewy in a good way. This terrific tofu gets 4.5/5 stars from me!
After finishing reading my ranking, I hope you are confident enough to decide which tofu to try in Blanch. Remember, it’s always good to get out of your comfort zone (unless you are allergic to soy then please don’t do this). As I said before, this is a subjective matter. One man’s trash is another’s treasure, so don’t expect to love a tofu just because I said it was good or hate one because I disliked it. To end with a quote from a dear friend of mine “It doesn’t actually matter. You should eat the tofu because it’s good for you. If it’s gross, stop. If it’s tasty, get more.”