It happened in the turn of a night, between being a kid on summer break and being a college student. This transition seemed so daunting for so long until it happened. At first I was fine. I made friends, liked my classes, and developed a routine. This was the longest I had ever been away from home in my life, and it all happened relatively ineffectually. Then, I went home for fall break. Although I loved my new life at Mount Holyoke, this brief vacation was highly anticipated. I was back at my home, with the people I love, with my own bed, and my dog. Being dropped back at school afterwards, quite honestly, shook me. I had to return to this place where I was alone without my loved ones. Whoever thought that this concept was a good idea was going to hear from me. It was then that I was realized I was experiencing homesickness. Looking back, there was a process I had to go through before I felt comfortable again. I thought I’d share my experience with feeling homesick in the hopes that it may be relatable and help others find their own processes of getting through it.
From that moment that I said goodbye, I was hit with a strong sense of shock. I didn’t know what to do with myself. One moment my family was here, and then the next they were gone. This period was very short as it rapidly moved into another feeling. It’s jarring. I found myself noticing the objects and scenery around me and feeling like I’d never really been home at all, as if this newer, more alien place had overcome any comfort I’d once felt.
Sadness and emotional sensitivity are absolutely the parts of homesickness that dominate. It’s during this period that I have found it difficult to be productive or active. So far, I’ve done my best to give myself a little room to rest and breathe. If an assignment can wait until later it does, if not it gets done in a space where I am comfortable. This feeling lasts a while, so eventually when I do have to move into the quick of things, I’ve taken care to honor the altered state of mind I am in. This means allowing myself to make decisions with my situation in mind, validating my feelings of homesickness.
Once back into the pace of school, the naturally occurring productivity serves as a distraction from homesickness. With every task on campus and every class, my focus is being directed elsewhere. In my experience, this comes to share some mental space and centers me to the present. I am reminded of my place and purpose here.
There is a point in this process in which I go from feeling too emotional to connect with home, to wanting to reach out. When I feel okay to do so, I call and text the family members I miss. For me, communication with home serves as a reminder that I am not so alone or separated from them. Saying goodbye at the end of each call gets easier and easier. In doing this, a better balance is created between my home and school life. I can still want for home and reach out as often as I please, but eventually have the intention of sharing stories of my life on campus. We keep up contact until it’s time to be together again.
My personal experiences with homesickness are unique to me, but perhaps some of what I have shared is familiar. Whether you have felt what I have or not, I hope this article in some way helps in the case of homesickness, or that it has provided you with another perspective.
All will be well!
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