Imagine yourself: perhaps you are a young LGBT+ person hoping to find romantic partner(s) or friends, or maybe you are a curious straight ally. Now, imagine yourself thrown into a pool of possibility once you arrive at Mount Holyoke; it is undeniable that we have a rather large LGBT+ population on campus. Around 30% of the Mount Holyoke population identifies as LGBT+. It might not be easy, however, to determine who actually identifies as LGBT+ on campus. So, what are you to do?
Right now you might be thinking to yourself “What if I want to know a person’s sexuality or gender right away? Can’t I just look for rainbows or certain haircuts and make an educated guess?” You’re right, you could try to guess whether or not someone’s LGBT+, but that guess would likely come from stereotypes. You should never, ever make assumptions about a person’s gender or sexuality.
A common problem on this campus is people sometimes make assumptions about whether or not someone is LGBT+ on appearance alone. There is no handbook on how to properly present oneself as LGBT+. A person doesn’t have to be white, skinny, or conventionally attractive, with short hair to be LGBT+: A trans man can wear makeup if he wants to. A person could be femme, but not a woman. A person could be masc, but not a man. Not all women who like women are lesbians. A woman with a boyfriend is not automatically straight. Asexual people actually exist. We’re people, not caricatures, and we’re a diverse bunch. We come in all shapes and sizes and races.
So, how can you find out who’s LGBT+ on campus? Well, here are some steps that you can try!
-
Make a habit of asking for people’s pronouns upon meeting them, and volunteer your pronouns when introducing yourself. By normalizing the process of sharing pronouns, you’ll be less likely to make assumptions about a person’s gender based on appearance alone. (And, if a person asks you to refer to them by different pronouns in different situations for safety reasons, respect their decision.)
-
Befriend people, regardless if you know they’re LGBT+ or not. Chances are you’ll eventually meet someone who identifies as LGBT+ during your stay at Mount Holyoke. While there are definitely people who are very open and vocal about being LGBT+ on campus, some of us are quieter about it, so we usually won’t tell people about it unless they are asked about it or are talking to someone they trust. So, if you ever want to know if someone’s LGBT+ and they aren’t entirely open about it, it might not be until you’re friends with them that you’ll be able to know how they identify. You can always try to ask, depending on your relationship and if you’re in a safe place to do so, but never push a person to tell you whether or not they’re LGBT+. Respect a person’s choices on how open they are about their gender and sexuality.
-
Know where you can meet LGBT+ people on campus. There are various orgs on campus for LGBT+ students, which are open to both LGBT+ students and allies. The LGBT+ orgs on campus are OUTreach, FAMILIA (for people of color only), CoGA (Coalition for Gender Awareness), or Femmepowered. These orgs are a great place to meet LGBT+ friends, and they are a great support system for LGBT+ people on campus. While not everyone in these orgs are LGBT+, many of us are, and once you get to know us, you’ll be able to learn who’s LGBT+ without relying on harmful stereotypes.
By following these steps, you can learn if someone is LGBT+ without making assumptions and get some amazing new friends in the process!
If you would like to write for Her Campus Mount Holyoke, please email mt-holyoke@hercampus.com.