During my visit to Pier 39 in San Francisco, I read the storefront sign’s purple lettering: Lefty’s. The orange and purple store was filled with left-handed everything, from school supplies to kitchen tools, musical instruments, and even t-shirts to boast left-handed solidarity. I never thought being left-handed was special, but when I discovered from the store’s posters and wall decor that Barack Obama, Ashley Tisdale, Oprah, and Prince William were all left-handed, I realized that I had a special connection to these people that the rest of my family didn’t.
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Back in January, at the Asian American Christian fellowship I attend at UMass, while completing the write-your-name-year-and-what-you’re-looking-forward-to-this-semester activity, one of the worship leaders sitting next to me and I had a “lefties unite” moment when I realized I didn’t need to carry through with my prepared “I’m sorry if we bump hands” speech. We looked around the rest of our first-year/sophomore circle and were surprised when close to half were using their left hand, and several of the other half mentioned being forced to switch their dominant hand by their parents during childhood.
These stories are so familiar to me because I have heard many other variations from my mother. She has told me about her friends who were forced to use their right hand by a smack on their left fingers with chopsticks. Based on what I have learned from friends and witnessed in Asian communities, using your left hand is traditionally considered rude and even associated with bad luck. Passersby may question a little child, “Have your parents taught you to be polite?” and leave the child wondering what they have done wrong.
We know now that being left-handed is a gift from nature. When I put my nineteen-year-old self in the shoes of a toddler who has been hit for using their left hand, my heart hurts in thinking about what is going through their mind. I can only imagine the feeling of believing I’ve committed a sin but not being able to figure out why. I can only imagine the stress of a three-year-old in reminding themself to use their right hand in the presence of their parents and then enduring their own blame when they forget.
After these kids grow up, using their right hand will have become like second nature. They will understand that there was nothing wrong with being left-handed when they were a child. Everyone will go through a similar kind of experience at some point in their lifetime and face others who believe their instincts by nature are wrong. For example, I am a very slow person, and I’m used to others telling me to hurry up. When my friends have already gotten three pages into their papers yet I’m still on my first, I know in my head that I’m not wrong, and I’m just slow by nature, but I still feel at battle with myself and wish I were faster.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that you deserve to forgive yourself. When a stranger bumps into you on the sidewalk, when someone cancels your plans together last minute, when a friend breaks your trust and shows they are sincerely sorry, why is it so easy for you to accept them, yet so hard for you to accept yourself? It’s okay if you can’t forgive yourself immediately; it’s certainly a process. But you are doing well. You are not guilty for being left-handed, and being demanded to use your right hand by your parents is not your fault. You are not at fault for being yourself. We are on this path together, and let us walk without fear, and let us walk without regrets ✿
