We were in the midst of swim season and I had to go to practice during “that time of the month”. I decided it was time I sucked it up and wore a tampon to practice like a responsible adult. “It’s revolutionary,” my teammate said. “You’ll stop wearing pads once you encounter this miracle.” I am not going to lie, this made me excited despite the nervousness. I was ready to do this, I told myself. Here is the story of the very first time I wore a time.
Chapter 1: The Education
My roommate generously gave me a mock tutorial on how to insert the tampon before swim practice. She took one out of its wrapper, removed the applicator, and showed me what the tampon looks like without the applicator. She then vaguely told me that “you’re supposed to insert the thing inside the thing.” At this point, I thought I had understood all I needed to know.
Chapter 2: The Final Exam
This was it. I was in the bathroom in the women’s locker room. I took a deep breath, and then shoved. Sparing you the gory details (as if I haven’t scarred you enough already), I managed to achieve the needful. I then removed what I thought was the applicator, and cheered in jubilation. I had done it! What next? World domination? Super powers? I was a new woman, and my new tampon and I would save the world.
Chapter 3: False Expectations
After swim practice, I decided to remove the tampon. To my greatest horror, out came the tampon with the applicator still intact. My roommate had told me that the applicator was supposed to be removed before I wore it! I stared at the bloody, mangled thing in shock. I called my mom in distress. What happened to world domination? World dominators don’t call their moms at slight inconveniences, do they?
Chapter 4: Renewed Hope
“Oh you poor thing! You removed the applicator wrong!” my roommate told me sympathetically after I had recounted the horror story. She unwrapped another one and showed me how I had to push the cotton up before removing the applicator. Never mind, I told myself. I will try again tomorrow.
Chapter 5: Victory
Armed with three tampons, and my teammate waiting outside the stall door, I braced myself. My teammate voiced words of encouragement from the outside. “You got this! You’re almost there!”
“Why is it so gross?” I asked rhetorically. “It isn’t gross, it is a natural and beautiful process of the human body,” my teammate replied. That line gave me courage. I took in a deep breath, pushed the cotton upwards, and shakily removed the applicator. I stared at the blood-stained thing in disbelief. It took a few tries, but there was a safe (ahem) landing. I did it! World domination was just around the corner.
I hope reading this gives you the courage to do the things you’re afraid of. Learning how to use a tampon on my own was a huge step for me. It also made me open my mind to different options. Who knows what I’ll give a try next… A menstrual cup? Or even more daring, period underwear? Who knows. The world is my oyster.