Designating Yourself to Experience

Sun-splashed light stretches over crisp, newly-fallen leaves just past your eye’s view, the familiar hum of student voices melding synchronically, and the sweet, comfortable return to your favorite Residence hall; this is the embodiment of experience! While being away from MoHome for my first summer back, I attempted to devote myself to a number of demanding activities: a summer internship, familial obligations, and unromantically immersing myself within the books left unfinished on my TBR list. Amidst this plight of somewhat-futilely spent activities I endeavored towards committing myself to, I simultaneously recognized the novelty in my current experience. 

It isn’t necessary that you over-commit yourself to unrelentingly pouring over mundane books for the experience of being finished, or staying in your hometown for the sake of your own comfort, to appeal to the emotions of those around you, or, to have mere claim over the experience of having stayed. I have committed myself to challenging the limitations of experience through resigning myself completely to the windfall of experiencing. Experience doesn’t need to sound remarkable, be particularly unique in nature, or assigned to any one facet/ time period of your life; you merely need to pursue this endeavor of experience authentically. I implemented this own sense of authenticity within my life, particularly this summer, letting sincerity line my every experience rather than striving for mere claim over such.

I pursued my passions in traveling, with escapades including Michigan’s beautifully-remote Upper Peninsula, and my first Pride Parade in Chicago (experiencing the marvel of queer resistance!). I practiced writing with full sincerity rather than writing a piece solely to be read, and even faced my greatest fear of getting stuck on a grounded airplane– forced to confront the experience of overcoming personal barriers for a spectacularly-stuck two hours. Losing something (even if merely your own sense of self-doubt), I’ve found, is a necessary aspect of authentic experience. Amidst my assignment of self-devotion to sincere experience, I unremittingly sat myself in a seat of an unmoving airplane, considering the poetics of surmounting a fear so great while simultaneously embarking on my summer travels, explorations, and acting upon my authentic desire to satisfy my largest curiosities around life. These are the answers gained, ironically, only through more experience, more authentically loving, more freely pursuing your passions, and seizing the opportunity, each time it presents itself, to immerse yourself within the unfamiliar– striving to meet experience at the heart of new and accustomed facets of your own life.

I find the grandest instances of experience are often tucked away in the most quiet, often-ommitted parts of our days; the slowly-drifting leaves of campus trees that cast themselves against the sidewalk– a leaf-blanketed ground that seems to shift beneath my every step, a warm phone call from family back home, and the feeling of privilege in experiencing so much. Despite feeling (expectedly) overwhelmed by gradually-nearing deadlines, social obligations, and assuring personal goals are met, I take extra intentionality in letting the bliss I find in experiencing Mount Holyoke during late September define my days. Committing yourself to empirical experience is an extraordinary way to practice self-care, intentionality, and implementing authenticity consistently within your life. The experience of learning is just as valuable as the experience of having finished an assignment. I’ve mastered this art of feeling a sincere return to myself through assigning value, and committing myself, completely, to experience; there is liberation in authenticity.

• #college experience
• advice and thoughts
• Experiences