No one really wants to have a long-distance relationship. It’s never the ideal situation but when it happens it hits you by storm. I met my significant other while at Mount Holyoke during the spring semester last year. Over the course of the semester, we were inseparable but in the middle of April, he left for a training program. Still, despite the distance, we have managed to stay together. I recently saw him over winter break and it felt like things had never changed even though so much time went by.
There is always something about a long-distance relationship that scares people. To be honest, it scared me too. I didn’t know what to expect or how to do it. In some situations, it works and in others, it doesn’t. The circumstances are always different, be it time zones or availability, but no matter what it can be a challenge. You find yourself wishing to be with that person or waiting for that text. Over the course of the relationship, I have learned a lot about myself and long-distance relationships. Here is a list of tips and advice from my experience, which helped me grapple with the 782 miles between my significant other and me.
- Excessive Communication is Not Always Better
- Communication, of course, is key to any relationship but texting 24/7 can be a bit overboard and overwhelming for the both of you. You can keep the relationship going regardless of the time spent texting. Some people think that because of the distance, you have to compensate by doing more. Remember to stay in touch, but less is more. It’s not about spamming, it’s about having those meaningful conversations.
- Do Activities Together
- One of my favorite things to do is organize fun things to do together. My partner and I have read books together, painted, made playlists, and watched the same shows. This gives us something to do together and brings us together but mostly it starts a conversation about something. When you live apart, it’s nice to have those shared experiences that you remember and talk about later on.
- Know Each Other’s Schedules
- It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. That way you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. Make sure you are aware of the small and big events in their lives (i.e college, midterms, exams, work, interviews, and club meetings). Particularly if you live in different time zones, this becomes more important. One thing I recommend is making Google calendars and then sharing them with each other!
- Staying Positive
- Although it can be lonely and hard at times, the energy of a relationship means so much. Some days are not good days but it’s the calls on the phone that make my day brighter. The memories of laughs and smiles add up and bring joy. Think positively about the situation and you’ll make some of your favorite memories over the phone. Being thankful for the contact and support received from a distance makes the whole experience better, stay positive and hold onto the memories that make it worthwhile.
- Going Old School
- Technology has helped so much to keep my long-distance relationship afloat but something else that made it stronger was letter writing. Apps can keep us connected but there’s something special about the art of writing a letter to somebody you care about. While a text is great for immediate communications, letters can often capture deeper, more romantic feelings. The anticipation of writing and receiving letters is also a fun practice to indulge in during this age of instant and constant communication. It’s not necessary to write letters all the time, and it’s definitely not necessary to use them as your main form of communication, but writing letters can add a fun dimension to your long-distance communication. Letters are also fun because they allow for more creativity than a text message. With a handwritten letter, you can add art, sketches, or photos that can provide a more personal touch to your words.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship or about to embark on one, I hope these will help! In the end, if you truly care about someone, it’ll always be worth keeping in touch and keeping them in your lives no matter the miles.
If you would like to write for Her Campus Mount Holyoke, or if you have any questions or comments for us, please email email@example.com.