Our phones can do ridiculous things these days, we all know that. There are crazy amounts of apps that we can access, games that we can play with our friends, links to numerous websites like Facebook and Twitter, cameras, email, and so much more. This technology does its best to make our lives so much easier—so how come texting, especially texting a guy you like, is so much harder? While trying to rekindle or start up a relationship, texting can be the lifeblood that either makes or breaks whatever sparks there were, when you first met. If you meet a guy at a party, you give out your number and expect that initial text—so when he finally does send that first message, what should be said? Should it be witty? Sexy? Somewhere in between? Mostly what is said depends on the guy, but there are a few cardinal rules that should never be broken while text-flirting. Follow these rules, and the rest is up to you.
The first and most basic rule is never send more than one text at a time. When first texting a guy, they want to get to know you—what you’re like, the stuff you’re into, the people you hang out with. The way you send texts, though, is also a big indicator of who you are. By sending more than one text, you can come off as pushy or extremely eager, which will be a huge turn off. Texting is a side activity anyways, so pushing them to respond makes it seem like you want all the attention on you. Shorter texts give off a much cooler vibe, so stick to under 160 characters.
Also, if the story you are trying to tell him just won’t fit in one text, then it’s better to call him or tell it in person. If you think about it, this is the perfect way to begin talking about getting together. “I have the best story about that! It’s way too long though, I’ll have to tell you when we hang out.” Now you have an in, and don’t seem as aggressive.
Overuse of exclamation points, smiley faces, and “LOL” are another way to weird him out. An exclamation point every once and a while is the perfect way to show excitement or some other emotion, but when they are used after every text, it sounds like you overdosed on happy pills. “The Hunger Games was the best! I saw it in theaters 3 times!! I can’t believe you haven’t seen it! We should go together!!!” The first exclamation point is fine, but the rest make you sound like an overexcited dog getting ready to go on a walk.
The same rule goes with smiley faces. Emoticons are a great way to make something that could sound harsh a lot smoother, but when overused they just become creepy. Imagine someone staring at you and smiling after every sentence they speak—that is what the guy pictures. It’s weird to be too happy; show some emotion, this is why he wants to get to know you in the first place.
The overuse of “LOL” is extremely common, but needs to be dealt with. Yes, sometimes the things you say are funny, but “I’m going to class lol” is completely unnecessary. Are you laughing after everything you say? Are you really that hilarious? Use your LOL’s only when you need them and they will actually showcase your sense of humor instead.
The next thing you should definitely avoid is sending or responding to one word texts. Sending a text with one word is a flag that the conversation is boring and needs to stop. If you send him, “Cool.” don’t expect a response. When flirting, these texts may send the message that you’re really not that into him, so avoid these at all costs. On the flipside, if he sends you a one word text, do not respond. Usually this means he’s doing something else or is sick of texting. If this happens, don’t get upset; just remember that everyone has a life going on outside of their phone. Move on and start up a better conversation later.
Timing is also very important when flirting through text. Responding too quickly seems overly eager, while responding after a long time seems rude. Wait a little bit before you respond just in case. Also, starting conversations can be difficult. Don’t be the one to always start the conversation; give him room to start something with you. If he doesn’t ever text you first, you might want to reevaluate this crush. But, if you do start the conversation, never, under any circumstance, text him after midnight. This seems either like a booty call or just really creepy. If you do think of something really great to text them after midnight, it can most likely wait until morning.
Possibly the most important rule, is NEVER drunk text a guy that you have a crush on. “Whaat are yous doing? I wanty se youuuuu,” absolutely never sounds good when you’re drunk and he’s sober at the library. When you look at your texts the next morning you will be so mortified that any thought of flirting in the near future goes out the window. So save yourself the humiliation and avoid this all together.
The final prohibited act when flirting with a guy is sending the last text. If you don’t respond to one of his texts, it leaves him hanging and leaves him wanting more. You will seem slightly aloof and catch his attention, which is always a good sign. This also gives you the freedom to start the next conversation whenever you would like. In the end, if you can avoid doing all these things when texting your crush, you’re on your way to starting something great. Just follow these rules, be yourself, and eventually text-flirting can turn into a real relationship.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MSU chapter.