They say sometimes that opposites attract.
My best friend dominated the ice rink. She was fast and used to bringing the crowd to their feet as she scored countless goals that eventually led her team to plenty of victories. She was the friend that sat down and thoughtfully weighed out the many decisions for a problem, choosing after many minutes of deliberation. In her free time, she was out on the golf range, a treadmill, or fixing herself a healthy snack. She was known for her gentle, quiet personality, and well-liked among the student body.
I, on the other hand, could lose myself in a song, but, ironically enough, craved a shield from the hundreds of gazing eyes fixated on my performance. When it came to just about everything, I was blunt without hesitation, knew what I wanted, and never looked back. In the rare moments I had time as a student in a college preparatory, I would lounge about in my house, catching up on That 70’s Show or reading a good book, a bag of microwave popcorn at my side. When it came to others, I never craved acceptance or validation from any of my peers, and I was perfectly content with that.
She and I met in our sophomore year English class and grew close very fast. In our three years of friendship, we have navigated through so many experiences, whether they were good, bad, traumatic, or beautiful. Nonetheless, our friendship is deep-rooted and she is the one friend that will have my back through it all. When she left to start her freshman year at Hamilton College, NY, I was greeted with the unsettling feeling that my closest friend, my truest friend, once ten minutes away, was now more than five hours away. This new world without my most trusted confidante by my side felt strange, and I was now left to fend for myself.
Through all of this, she texts me every two hours. We FaceTime once a day, and our relationship remains fortified. The secret? Effort and planning. Remember that putting in work for a friendship is not a 50-50 effort – it’s quite contradictory, as you’re only putting half the work in – would you only apply half of the effort needed into studying for an exam? Friendships are the same way – it won’t work with only some effort.
You should share your schedules – not your weekly schedules, but actual class times! I cannot stress this enough. When you’re both off navigating your own lives, they might not be able to talk to you on your time and vice versa (if they could, that would be a miracle). Nonetheless, my best friend and I were able to compare with one another and set allotted times to text each other, facetime, and engage in other activities over the internet. On my desktop, I created a note for times not to call her, and additionally, she has my schedule on hand. Because of this system we’ve created, she picks up about 95% of my calls.
Next, remember to ask them about what’s going on in their lives. When you’re up to date on what’s happening, there’s more to bring up for the future. On a call, I’ll recount funny shenanigans that my friends and I pulled for the day, and she’ll discuss late night escapades about running to the dormitory café . Sometimes, we have also been lucky enough to meet the people the other so highly speaks of (virtually, of course).
Finally, here is a list of five ideas I recommend to feel like the two of you are with each other again in-person.
- Join a yoga class!
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As both of your schedules are growing quite hectic, you’re going to need a way to release some steam and stress. Yoga satisfies just that, giving not only a clear conscience and good health, but a fun experience that you and your best friend can reflect upon as well. Find a studio, register for a class, and breathe
- Have a night in!
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Put on your comfiest set of sweats and have a FaceTime dinner date! The one plus that you get over having an in-person dinner is that you both have sole control over where you order from, but take this time to catch up! Follow the night up with a movie – my best friend recommends an extension on Google Chrome called Scener, where you can not only chat (similar to Netflix Party) but FaceTime them as well! An added bonus is that you can choose streaming platforms other than Netflix, such as Hulu or Disney Plus.
- Go to the (virtual) mall!
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Make a list of stores, set a date, and a time. Log onto Zoom, and open up your favorite shops online. Zoom is particularly useful in this instance because you can share multiple screens all at once, meaning you can open the same website as your best friend and “shop together”. There’s nothing better than getting to go to a mall in-person and shopping to your heart’s content, but this alternative is a close second.
- Tap into your creative sides!
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Order a canvas (or whichever media you prefer), some cheap paint brushes, and a couple of acrylic paints from Amazon. Find a photo of the two of you on your camera rolls (or anything they would like for that matter) and to the best of your ability, try and recreate it. Send it to each other’s dormitory mailboxes, and surprise one another
- Stream music together!
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Missing car rides and blasting your favorite music with your best friend? Download the app Vertigo (it is also Android compatible) and compile a playlist with both of your favorite songs. From there, you can host a listening party and stream your playlist as the both of you work out, lounge or study.
To anyone out there with a long-distance best friend – hang in there. It’s hard not to have your number one person with you at all times, but there’s always a silver lining to every situation. Whether being apart is new for you or something that you’ve grown accustomed to, keep in mind this phrase: “good friends are like stars – you can’t always see them, but you know that they’re always there.”