Once your senior year of high school comes to a close, all that is on your mind is college. Everyone around you is excited as you transition into the next stage of your life and you keep hearing about how you are going to have the best four years of your life. Freedom, independence, new friends, eating what you want, sports games, going out college has it all. Then you get there, and all of the sudden, no one warned you how hard it was. That was me. I was lonely. For the first time in my life, I became depressed and disconnected from the world.
Moving to a new city and or state poses its challenges of finding your way and making your mark. I didn’t really know anyone going to my college and lacked relationships. If I wasn’t in class, I was in my dorm room. I would eat in the dining hall alone, with only my headphones to keep me company. I was constantly looking around, seeing people laugh and smile with their friends. Why couldn’t I have that? Why did it feel like I was the only one struggling? As time went on, friendships began to form, and when I opened up about my struggles at college, I quickly learned I wasn’t alone. Almost every friend I made told me they cried countless times in their dorm, felt alone, and isolated.
Why did no one tell me the realities of college? Why was it sugarcoated for me? For any freshman or anyone reading this struggling to make friends, it’s normal. Being able to put yourself out there is a trait that very few possess. College is difficult. It’s eating meals by yourself. It’s faking a smile. It’s hanging out with anyone just to fill a social void. It’s getting rejected from student organizations. It’s not always agreeing with your roommate. It’s not having plans on the weekend. While college is all of these things, it is most importantly growth. College has taught me a lot about myself and going after what I want. I learned that alone time is not always a terrible thing, and eventually used my energy to push myself out of my shell. I feel like I have learned the most about myself at college. When it comes to friendships, quality always plays a bigger role than quantity. I also learned that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. However you’re feeling right now, it is temporary. Things get better, and this terrible state of mind is, unfortunately, a season a lot of us go through, but come out stronger.
College is fun. College is learning. College is becoming you.
~Emily Smith