My Story of Being an Asexual On Campus

 There’s always talk in the media about the LGBTQ+ community, however not every group gets as much representation as the others do. Specifically, I’m referring to the Asexual or “Ace” community. Everyone deserves representation, but as an asexual on a pretty out there and active campus, so to speak, it can be a little bit difficult. 

    I’ve always had difficulty with people understanding what being ace means, not a lot of people know about it. As Urban Dictionary puts it: “An asexual is an individual who is is not sexually attracted to either men or women.” For the most part, this statement is true, but Asexuality is something that comes in different forms. Some people are Asexual-Aromantic; others are Demi-Sexuals; some are Hetero-Romantic Asexual or Pan-Asexual, and so on. I, myself, identify as Hetero-Romantic Asexual, but I also think I could be Hetero-Romantic Demi-Sexual. It can be hard to fully determine sometimes. I know that I’ve had trouble throughout my life trying to figure out my sexuality and who I was. 

    I first realized I was some form of Asexual when I was in high school. I had some trouble to fully determine this because of my religion. While I love my religious faith I had to determine were my feelings my choice or an ideology that was put into my head. I had always been fine with the rules of staying chaste, but I wanted to be completely sure.  I researched as much as I could. I looked up different terms and definitions, tried to find personal stories of people who had come out. I finally began to understand myself a bit more and started to find my way a little more. I managed to get through high school, but with your typical high school hierarchy, it’s not like it’s something that came up. When I got to college, though, things changed a lot.

I was put in situations that weren’t exactly what I was ready for or expected. I felt I had to explain myself. There were a lot of different people who approached me in a way that I hadn’t been approached before. It overwhelmed and honestly scared me a little. I wasn’t sure how to handle people who were so bold and comfortable. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle school. I had to have a serious talk with a very close friend of mine. She’s someone who’s always been extremely comfortable with her sexuality so I asked how to handle this. She helped talk me down and explained that I can’t let people get to me. This transition was gonna be a big adjustment but once I started to settle in more and find my people that I wouldn’t have to worry. I picked Montevallo for a reason, it was my home. 

Once I got more adjusted I was able to state who and what I was without as much anxiety. I have a wonderful group of people in my life who help and support me no matter what because Montevallo is a campus unlike any other. It just takes a little bit of time and a little bit of patience, but you’ll find your people. Montevallo is a campus that has an openness that accepts people for who they are. Yeah sometimes I still have to clarify but I know how to handle the situation, but I’m met with understanding. No matter who or what you are Montevallo will accept you. 

Now don’t get me wrong dating is something that’s still difficult. When I talk about myself some people aren’t sure how to feel, and that’s ok, I understand. Asexuality isn’t something people come across every day. It’s a little confusing for people when I say that I just want something romantic and not physical. Not everyone is into that, and that’s fine. I know that eventually, I’ll find someone who fully understands, but until then I’m not gonna worry. I have a group of friends who understand, love, and accept me, and for me, that’s all I need.