Being an African American female with thick curly hair, I’ve been in too many situations where my hair was treated like an artifact in a museum. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the love for my natural hair. I’d just rather make a few things clear before someone feels the need to put their hands through my curls. A lot of females with curly, wavy, and/or coily hair have been placed in this awkward situation where a stranger, or even a friend, puts their hands in their hair without asking. Now to those who don’t want to be put in this awkward situation anymore, read how you can make it clear that your hair can be admired from a distance and with respect.
Thank you, but No Thank You
Now you might say, “Why don’t you take it as a compliment?” I didn’t say I didn’t. I’d just rather hear a vocal compliment. Us ladies with big, thick, textured hair love to see that all the work we put into our hair is appreciated by others, but touching our hair doesn’t do it any good.
For many who don’t know, the more you let strangers or even friends run their hands through your hair you’re allowing unnecessary manipulation to your hair strands and could eventually make your hair break off. To add onto the stress, most curly-haired girls prefer not to have people touch their hair because all it does is make their hair frizzy. Now think of that, you let one person run their hands through your hair, then another, now you have a frizz ball on your head.
You can love the attention your hair is getting but think of your hair’s strands before you let others have a hand party in there. As a child, my mother would always tell me, “Don’t let people put their hands in your hair, it’s gonna fall out!” Boy am I glad I listened. Next time someone decides to reach for your hair, just give a simple, “thank you, but no thank you.”
Appreciate From a Distance
You do not have to sit through those awkward moments when someone jumps at the chance to touch your hair. Not saying to make a scene and make the other person feel bad, but let them know you’d rather get the appreciation from a distance. If you really have the time let that person know why it’s uncomfortable to have someone treat your hair like a museum. It helps to have someone understand it from your perspective. Let the ones around you who like to touch your hair know you’d prefer them to ask you first or for them to not touch your hair at all.
It’s our hair ladies, we can say when we do or don’t want it touched. Some people just don’t know what it’s like to have our hair. Take it as a compliment but also set boundaries. Your hair is your crown, treat it as such.