Why Are Relationships So Hard?

Relationships. On the outside, they seem so lovely. You see so many couples holding hands, taking cute pictures, dedicating social media posts to one another, admiring one another publicly and just overall declaring their love for each other. Nobody talks about the inner struggles though. I wish people shared the hard and ugly parts of relationships because if you didn't know better, you'd think you were alone facing them… but you're not. Relationships are hard but they shouldn't be impossible or painful. 

Overthinking in a relationship occurs regardless of how great your partner is. My boyfriend can tell me until I'm blue in the face that something is in my head and only in my head but until I believe it on my own, his words mean nothing to me. You overthink a lot of times in relationships. You can't read your significant other all the time, even if you really wish you could. Something may come up and you wish you said or did something differently; naturally, you'll overthink it. You'll overthink how you addressed the situation or handled it. This is all okay and it's all normal. You may sit up in bed one night and examine every little detail of a conversation and while I can relate to that, it's all okay. You're not crazy. Relationships are hard.

Social media does not determine how serious a relationship is or isn't. You determine that with your feelings. You do not owe anybody a photo of your significant other on holidays or social occasions. Some of the greatest couples never post and some of the crappiest couples post every day. I can't tell you how many people write "#RelationshipGoals" on somebody's post when in fact that couple is super unhappy and just smiles for the camera and for the likes they get on a post. Forget about when you're dating the person, try when you're in the early stages. It's hard to determine the difference between somebody keeping the Snapchat streak up and somebody who Snapchats because they like you. Why is that a thing? Why is that some people's main form of communication nowadays?... Why are relationships so hard?

Hookup culture is now a thing, and it wasn't when our parents were teenagers. We never hear our parents say "Well, we met at a roller rink, and then she came over to Netflix and Chill"... That's something our generation started, and it makes dating 10x harder! Some people only want to hook up, and that's okay, but others don't make those intentions clear right off the bat! They lead you on, play games, take you out but then ignore you, etc. It becomes a "situationship" and who needs that? It's tough to feel like you're on two different pages with somebody you can potentially have a nice, long, loving, relationship with. Tinder, Bumble and all the other dating apps have made these hookups much easier to get and obtain since they don't require any awkward conversation before the actual meetup. People can be as disrespectful and crude as they'd like to be over text, but then they meet you and they're different. Hooking up may be different. Relationships have blossomed from online dating. It's a hit or miss kind of thing. It all really depends, and that's what makes relationships in today's age so hard. 

Relationships are not meant to be flowers and rainbows all the time. If I wanted that, I'd get a puppy. They are going to be messy, frustrating, exciting, nerve-wracking, scary, loving and every emotion under the sun. They will test and push your buttons to the max. This is what makes relationships so hard, but so worth it in the end if you've found the right one. It'll be hard, but it won't be a battle that is you vs them. It's you two vs the world.