How do you define happiness? Happiness, in one way or another, can be defined as “the quality or state of being happy or good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.” I find the second half of this definition to be argumentative. To me, the idea that simply being content (or needing another person or something to bring you joy) is not happiness. I want my happiness to last, and, to me, words such as content and joy seem like such a short lived kind of happiness.
A few weeks back, I was on the phone with my best friend. It was late at night, and for some reason we got on the topic of happiness. At one point in the conversation, she asked me when was the last time I experienced true happiness. I became quiet and realized that I didn’t have an answer. As depressing as this may sound, I concluded that I really have never been happy for an extended period of time. Although I know that there are people in this world who believe they are the image of happiness, I find that hard to believe because we all have our own personal definition of the word and different things that makes us happy. My personal definition of happiness is the quality or state of being happy for a long period of time. Although things in my life such as writing, my family and friends, tumblr, food, and my dog bring me joy, it only lasts for a few moments. It is not a lasting sense of happiness, and therefore, I don’t believe that any of these things bring me happiness, the way I define it. I see joy and happiness as two completely different things. To me, I feel like I won’t achieve happiness until I have no worries, everything is handled and my anxiety is brought down to at least a 3. Now I know what you’re all thinking: that’s really unrealistic. And I agree, it is unrealistic. I’ll admit that I have high standards but what should be higher on the list than one’s personal sense of happiness?
Now as negative as all of this might have sounded, don’t think that I don’t believe happiness exists, because I do and it does. I believe in happiness and it is something I want. I just think that not every little thing that makes you smile or giggle should be thought of as real “happiness.” TRUE Happiness is a complex state but it is one that I am actively pursuing everyday – here’s how I am and how you can too:
1. Reduce the amount of drama in your life. I get it, some people like to be surrounded by drama. They like to make it feel like a TV show, but know when enough is enough. Never let the drama in your life overpower your work, your health and the things you love.
2. Be selfish (to an extent). Sometimes you need to be stingy with your time and attention. Everyone in your life doesn’t need your undivided attention. An idea that could be useful is making a list of the top three to four people in your life who deserve that undivided attention from you. Stick with it, they are there for a reason. The less time you spend trying to please multiple people, the happier you’ll be.
3. Do the things you love more. Whether it’s taking a walk, reading or trying something new like a self-defense class, make time for things you love to do. Spreading yourself so thin will lead to stress and the neglect of your own needs. Everyone deserves at least fifteen minutes of me-time a day. Enjoy it and cherish it.
4. Manage your stress. Stress is an unavoidable part of life but it shouldn’t overwhelm or consume you. Avoid the avoidable triggers. Try meditation to reduce the stress you already have. The less stress you have in your life, the more time you will have to find your true and happy self.
In implementing these things, they will begin you on the road to happiness. Your happiness is important. We only get one life and we have to make the most out of it. Being happy and doing what you love are the two most important things that need to be done in a lifetime. The two will usually go hand in hand: do what you love and that should bring you happiness. If it doesn’t, then you should probably take a step back and reevaluate your life. Don’t do something because you kind-of like it or because you might be good at it. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean that it is something you have a true passion for. Find something that if you were told the only way you could pursue it would be without any money involved, you would do it anyways. If you’re willing to do it for free, then getting paid for the task will feel like a bonus. You will get to do what you love and pay your bills at the same time; thay way, you’ll never work a day in your life.
So, is happiness truly attainble? The answer is an undeniable YES. And I hope every person who reads this article has found, or will find, their version of happiness some time soon. Follow your heart, it is the only compass you need. Choose happiness. This life is your message to the world. Let it be extraordinary!