Tips For When You’re Feeling Down During The Holidays

The holiday season is a lot. It’s typically a time of errands, family dinners, and all sorts of festivities. It’s meant to be a fun time of year. It can be hard to feel up to celebrating when conflicting feelings come up. It can feel confusing to feel down when everyone around you is enjoying themselves. I first experienced this last year after the loss of my grandmother. I didn’t anticipate feeling so sad, but it wasn’t until Thanksgiving and Christmas came that it sank in that the holidays just didn’t feel the same without her. Despite my grief, I still had a fun time, and these tips could help you if you’re experiencing something similar. 

Allow the feeling: Your feelings are valid. You might want to ignore or push down how you’re feeling, but ignoring those emotions makes it harder to actually get past them. Instead, try taking a moment for yourself and acknowledging the feeling. Sit with it a moment and notice how your body feels. See if you can name this feeling and then allow it. We aren’t our thoughts or our feelings. They come and go, so remember that this feeling will pass.

Do what makes you happy: We all have moments when we feel overwhelmed, and during the holidays, this can come from all the things to do and family to see. It’s important not to forget yourself in these moments, doing something you enjoy is grounding and can boost your mood! Keep something you like to do nearby. That can be bringing your sketch book, yarn to crochet, or bringing headphones to listen to your music. Whatever it is, bring it with you! However, if you can’t- that’s okay too! I’ve been in the same boat plenty of times, and for that I’d recommend this next tip. 

Ground yourself: It’s normal for our feelings to turn into anxiety when a lot is going on around us. It’s happened to me more times than I can count. This is when grounding techniques can be helpful. Distracting yourself by noticing the smells, colors, textures, and sounds around you will help to slow your breathing and will naturally help to feel calmer. Breathing techniques like box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing reduce anxiety and aid in clearing your mind. Don’t be afraid to do this anywhere- whether it be at the dinner table or just on the couch by yourself. It’s okay to take a personal break when you need to.

Remember you’re not alone: You might feel like you’re being a bummer when everyone else is laughing and carrying on with holiday joy. One, don’t be so hard on yourself, and two, you’re probably not the only one feeling this way. At the end of the day, regardless of what’s expected of us or what we feel we should do, we’re human. There’s a plethora of things that can be triggering during the holidays, and as people, we all have them. So if you can, talk about how you’re feeling. Find someone safe you can confide in and ask how they are feeling too- who knows, by the end of the conversation, you might be laughing.

Have a happy holiday and be kind to yourself.