#TheStruggleIsReal: Dating & Relationships

“The struggle is real” is a common hashtag used all over the internet, in strings of text messages as well as in memes. Now it is becoming an everyday phrase used by college students to describe both minute and serious challenges that they are faced with. This segment is for collegiates to share what they have experienced as undergraduates thus far.

College students are going their own pace when it comes to dating. There are hardly any labels, Tinder is a staple for our generation, and hookup culture is prevailing, or so it seemed until now. It actually appears that many students are taking their time and focusing on themselves instead.

Montclair State sophomore fashion studies major, Zoe Nolz said, “I’ve never been in a relationship before and I don’t use Tinder or anything like that. It’s kind of annoying that I just haven't found what I’m looking for...who needs guys when you’ve got a Girl Gang?”

Nolz is hopeful that she will find that special someone in the future but she’s not hung up over it. Why should she be? She has an awesome friend group and stays busy on campus with projects and organizations.

Montclair State senior English major Deija George has never been in a relationship either because school and her friends are a priority but now she’s ready to take on the dating world with caution. “I’m mature and organized enough for a relationship but I realized how hard it was to meet guys. So I went to Tinder and oh god I hated that. I don’t like judging people solely on their looks and some guys can be so gross and rude.  I’m focusing on me at the moment,” said George.

Although our world seems to be connected and overrun by social media, many women have claimed they rather meet someone in person and let things go from there. Tinder, Instagram, and other social media apps aren’t all they’re cracked up to be when it comes to finding your boo but there are still some frequent Tinder users out there.

“I just got out of a relationship,” said Montclair State junior communications student, Kayla Dilworth. “I used Tinder for that relationship and to meet guys prior to that. My personal view on relationships right now is to not be in one. I would rather focus on my emotional growth and independence.” Kayla went into further detail about the importance of her career, future and meaningful platonic relationships; hoping to grow as a person and be comfortable with herself.  

“I feel so free and motivated,” Dilworth said.

Of course, there are people in committed relationships but a lot of those relationships are long distance. Not seeing each other every day can be a total bummer but it can help put a person out there and focus on the things most important to them other than their relationship.

“I’ve been in a relationship for over three years now and I think it has helped me learn about myself as a person and has helped me see what I value in other people,” said Montclair State sophomore fashion studies major, Tara Byrne. “We are kind of long distance but its good having your own activities and then getting to see each other another time.”

College women are reclaiming their individuality and indulging in themselves now more than ever. Relationship status cannot define them and it shouldn’t. Whether someone is just having fun, in a serious relationship or going solo, there is always time to love oneself.