The Thief of Joy: Why Comparison is Damaging Your Confidence

In an era where everyone uses social media, comparing oneself to those you see on your screen is inevitable. At times, social media apps bring joy, laughter, and distraction, but other times, it brings insecurity, anxiety, and even shame. As a college-aged student, when you consume every social media post, rethinking your whole life and developing the expectation of quickly having everything figured out can really cause you to lose confidence and feel behind in life. But it isn’t your fault; society and social media are the ones to blame. 

These days, people share a lot of aspects of their lives online, their milestones that may make you wonder why you haven’t reached that yet, or their goals that you wish you’d already achieved. Seeing people around your age attaining these things when you’re just not quite there yet can be discouraging. 

It doesn’t even have to be social media apps, take Linkedin for example. It’s common for LinkedIn users to make posts highlighting new positions, internships, or certifications. Although these are amazing achievements for them and shouldn’t be looked down upon, if you’re struggling with job/internship searching, noticing your peers starting new things can naturally trigger comparisons between you and them. 

Society doesn’t help with this lingering problem either. Growing up, we’ve been taught that it’s good to go to college at 18, figure out what you want to major in, and graduate at 22 with an official job lined up. That is a traditional route that many follow; things in life can prevent others from following that route, or it may take others a little longer to achieve this. But when there are expectations from people and society to stick to this path, have things done by a certain age, and see your friends or acquaintances be able to achieve that life, it enables you to second-guess yourself. 

As college students who are exposed to social media and vulnerable to society, we really struggle with this. We are expected to have everything figured out already, and because others do seem to have everything figured out, it leads to comparison, self-doubt, and a toll on one’s confidence. But the truth is, no matter the norms society places, there isn’t only one path in life. There isn’t a deadline to reach certain goals, achievements, or milestones either; you are not behind at all. 

Besides, social media often only highlights the good in life. People aren’t going to post their struggles or the effort it took to get to where they are. You truly don’t know what others are going through behind your screen, so there’s really no use in comparing yourself to them. Everyone has different paths and their own lives; with time, dedication, and faith, you’ll achieve your goals, be whoever you want to be, and more!