The 20-Something Crisis is Real

Everyone swears that your twenties are the best years of your life, but they leave out the part where you’re panicking because you’re supposed to build up your career, travel, be responsible, and have a family all at the same time without cracking. Between major changes, dream chasing, and working survival jobs that drain your soul just to barely afford rent, it’s overwhelming. One minute you’re thriving and the next you’re crying in the shower because FAFSA crashed…again. But you’re not alone in this cycle of feelings. You’re bound to shift between career paths, friendships, identity, financials–everything. Your twenties aren’t about having everything figured out; they’re about growing through the mess anyway.

I feel that a major issue is thinking that you need to have everything figured out. Let’s be realistic: there are people in their forties who don’t know what they’re doing and…honestly, do we ever? Your twenties are meant to be about experiences. First of all, this doesn’t mean you have to travel to six different countries to “find yourself.” After all, you’re never going to fully find yourself—life is about creating yourself because you’re bound to change all the time. Travel if you wish, but don’t believe you have to just to prove you’ve lived. There’s no need to compare yourself, because I assure you, everyone’s just as lost as you are. That said, this isn’t an excuse to sit on the couch binge-watching shows all day. Learn something new, pick up a hobby, or go somewhere you haven’t been. Get out of your comfort zone a little, and you’ll realize that there are a million things out there that might become part of your world.

Speaking of comfort zones—you need to nerd out. Don’t stop yourself from doing something just because someone might see or judge. Who cares? Imagine all the things you could’ve experienced if you let yourself. Our generation is scared, and it’s understandable, but we won’t get anywhere if we’re at a standstill. It’s okay to make mistakes. Stop believing that you lose “aura points” just because you do something stupid. The world’s a little bigger when you look up from your phone, you know. Let yourself be curious. Let yourself try something new. Let yourself fall and tumble. I certainly don’t know of any flowers that grew without a little rain. 

Friends might not last forever. Point, blank, period. Growing up, my dad always told me that people come into our lives for a reason—some for a lesson, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. So when someone leaves or a relationship fails, I promise you the earth is still spinning. Obviously, it’s going to hurt. Most things do. But I’d like to think of the memories shared more than the ones that weren’t made. Trust me, I’ve planned my wedding day a million times over too—the groom changes, the bridesmaids, the guests. We can’t predict those who’ll stay for a lifetime, but we can enjoy people for the time they’re in our lives. 

You’re broke. I’m broke. We’re all broke. Houses are a million dollars, and apartments aren’t much better. College loans are a joke, and groceries are a genuine cry for help. For some reason, everything except our paycheck is going up. Don’t even get me started on healthcare. I’d rather ask ChatGPT why I’m having a headache, a sore throat, and blurry vision than to go to the doctors and drop $50 just to be told to take cold medicine and rest, or be prescribed three different steroids that make you feel insane by day two. And it’s hard. You want to be spontaneous and buy something cute, go to the bar, or take a six-week vacation because people drove you up a wall again. And it’s even harder to be responsible when FOMO hits you like a train. Suddenly, “girl dinner” is just the norm. But that phrase doesn’t need to dominate your vocabulary. You don’t have to go to every function. 

Academics have never been so controversial. At the very least, we can agree it should be free, because why am I paying $3,000 for a class that uses material I can find on some random Quizlet? Not everyone chooses college, and that’s fine. But if you do, let’s be real serious: graduating with your main professor being ChatGPT ain’t getting you anywhere. Read a book—or at least try to learn. You’re wasting your time and money if you’re going just to cheat your way through. I get it. Some professors are as boring as watching paint dry, talking like that sloth from Zootopia. It’s fine if you need an AI to simplify things, but it’s not a flex to not know how to write a paper without it. 

Another thing you don’t need to have your career figured out, but if you’re going to school, at least know your strengths and interests. You’re putting a lot of money into all those majors you’re cycling through. Also, you do not need to study abroad. Yes, it looks great on paper, but please think about things through. It would be cheaper if you went on your own time. Again, no need to compare yourself. Don’t convince yourself that you’re not getting anywhere if you don’t go. Especially if you’re a psychology major or something—come on now, just talk to people and there’s your internship right there. 

It’s understandable, though. Professors and parents are down our throats saying we’re the lazy generation. But honestly, we’re just exhausted carrying the weight of what they didn’t do. So many things changed the second it was our turn to be adults. However, we can only use that excuse for so long. We need to get up and actually work. It takes sacrifices. You might not be able to go out for a few nights…shocker. You might need to stay in and work on that paper that’s due at 11:59 that you definitely started at 11:00. Plan things out, ask for help when you need it, and breathe. No need to overthink or convince yourself you need perfect grades. Just try your best, because half of the time, that’s all anyone wants to see. 

And dreams are going to change. Trust me, it’s heartbreaking. Since I was a kid, I wanted to be a dancer, and it breaks my heart every time someone asks if I’m still dancing. No, because dance isn’t going to put food on the table, unfortunately, and I need to be logical. I need a safe plan. And sometimes I think I’m doing it all wrong. Am I really supposed to give up my passion like this? But maybe I’m not giving up. Maybe I’m just putting it on the back burner for a little while, just until I’m settled. Unfortunately, our parents are a little right in needing a “real job.” But that doesn’t mean you’re no longer you. You just need to be an adult for a moment, and then I promise you can do whatever you’d like when you’re stable. 

So let this be a reminder that you’re not the only one going through this. The idea that the twenties are the best years of your life is just that…an idea. Let me tell you what your twenties truly are: a time of growth, failing a million times over, crashing out, experiencing, and learning. This is when you realize what you do and don’t like about your life and yourself. It’s the time to change over and over and over again. Forget about the expectations and truly ask yourself what it is you want. What do you want to be remembered for? What makes you feel fulfilled? Are you happy? If not, what are you going to do to change that? 

Life’s an inevitable rollercoaster, but it isn’t impossible. Breathe. Like, actually. Take a moment and a few deep breaths. Feel your heartbeat, close your eyes, envision what you want life to look like, and breathe. You may not know exactly what you want, but you should at least have an idea of what you don’t. Then, when you’re done calming your soul, get to work and make those dreams come true. Make “little you” proud. 

xoxo