Perhaps it was on a warm sunny day when you met him at the beach by your family’s summer house or maybe you exchanged glances at a friend’s party while making s’mores by the fire pit. Either way, you both exchanged numbers, connected on Facebook and went on a couple of dates to get to know each other better. Summer is that time of the year when unexpected and yet wonderful events occur. It is the season when you can dip your toes in the ocean water, lie in a hammock while staring at the stars, sit on the edge of the dock while hanging your feet off the edge, which, gives you the perfect opportunity to engage with new people and have new experiences, including romance.
Summer romance is that kind of love where your biggest concern is to choose a place where you will meet your crush, whether it’s at a café, a restaurant or a plaza, and where it’s going to end, whether it’s in a car or someone’s house. It is a love which personal preferences and pressure from family and friends don’t matter. It’s a time when you can fly free around without giving answers to anyone and which is meant to be lived and not planned.
Just like every romance, summer love has the capability of going into many directions. Sometimes, depending on the situation, it is worth working on it and taking risks. However, if red flags are raised and you notice that there are no changes in continuing it, it is better to walk away before emotions get further developed. Below are a couple of tips on how to take your hot summer love to the next level without cooling it down and how to end your fling before it turns into a whirlpool of confusion.
When to work on your fling:
When you think about summer flings, the idea of a temporary relationship might cross your mind. But, sometimes these hot-weather hookups can step up a notch and turn into something more serious. How should you make this summer tryst last?
- Get to know all about the person
In order for the romance to last, you need to step out from your mysteriousness and click with the person on the mental level instead of just the physical level. See if the boy shares the same interests as you besides the love for the beach and if he’s not hiding something unpleasant about himself.
- Be Honest
Be upfront with your intentions and let the guy know how you exactly feel. Don’t assume things will end when the month of August ends. Tell him you are hoping to continue seeing him and see if he’s on the same page as you. Whatever happens, you will win, because you will either stop wasting your time on him or you will find out if he wants to be committed to you too.
- Stay in Touch
End of summer means an accelerated and busy schedule. Don’t let work and school have all your attention. Call or text him and simply ask how he is doing. This will show that you are thinking about him and that you are respecting his schedule.
When to walk away from your summer fling:
Nicholas Sparks once quoted that “Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars – a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they’re gone.”
- Distance
Distance can come in between you and your fling. Perhaps you live in New Jersey and your fling in California. It will be almost impossible to see each other all the time. Yes, you can communicate via Skype or talk on the phone, but it isn’t the same thing as spending time together. After a while, one of you might stop putting enough effort into the relationship or might meet someone else in your town or school. Before feelings get hurt, it is wiser to end the relationship in good terms at the end of the summer and focus on the real world than be stuck wondering what will happen next.
- Incompatibility
Sometimes opposites attract and sometimes they don’t. As much as you try to work out the relationship and stay on the same page, you are just not compatible with each other. You both might share different opinions which can lead to conflicts and these conflicts, can then cause frustration. If you feel irritated with your partner when hanging out in public or by yourselves and argue all the time, then it’s time to move on.
- Feeling of Disconnection
One of the toughest things about a summer relationship is that feelings can change. One person might have seen it as a fling all summer long, but the other might be seeing it as the beginning of a longer romance. Due to these differences, it will be harder to progress and all your goals won’t be met. This relationship will then start evaporating into thin air and end at some point. Before you start a summer romance, make sure that both of you are on the same page. Communication is vital in a situation like this!
- No Time
Once summer ends, it is time for most people to go back to school or to work. Maybe the boy you met takes 18 credits in college and works 35 hours a week. You also have a hectic schedule and are in the same situation as him. Over time, you both get into arguments about never seeing each other. But, there’s no way to fix it. You are both just too busy. Summer romance can be fun, but deciding on what to do next be can be extremely stressful. Just like in any other relationship, trust yourself. Do what it’s best for you. Even though you might go into a relationship with high expectations, in the end, these thoughts and feelings might change. Remember that whichever choice you decide taking in the end will be the right one.