They say college is supposed to be “the best four years of your life.” I don’t know who “they” is, but for a while, I felt like “they” were pretty wrong.
For the first two years of my college experience, all I could think about was how nothing could replicate how good I had it in high school. My friends were my everything, and I was on the executive board of just about every club there was. I felt like I was the only one in my hometown friend group that couldn’t seem to move on once we graduated.
And while my freshman and sophomore years of college weren’t bad in any way, I couldn’t get past the thought that maybe my time in high school was simply going to be better than the chapter that followed.
Luckily, my junior and senior years proved me wrong. While I wouldn’t necessarily say college is a better time than high school, I can gratefully say I am blessed enough to have loved both experiences wholeheartedly and created a home for myself in a place I thought I wouldn’t be able to.
Coming back from spending an entire year at home after COVID, I went full force for my in-person return, with roles as Entertainment Editor of my school paper, The Montclarion, and President + Editor in Chief of the lovely Her Campus Montclair. I was also coming out of my first-ever relationship, so it’s safe to say my third year of college brought me lots of change and days that were out of my comfort zone.
As hectic as it was, I learned to be independent again. I immersed myself into extracurriculars that were extremely fulfilling, albeit stressful, and I learned to make choices on my own and carry myself through moments I was used to leaning on someone during. By the end of the year, I pulled myself through some pretty difficult periods, from emotionally-taxing projects to inner conflicts I didn’t think I’d have to confront.
These things taught me I am capable of putting myself first and working toward being who I want to be at any point in my life. It’s a lesson I am still learning now that I’m nearing the end of my senior year.
Simply put, senior year gave me exactly the feeling people look forward to: familiarity and the confidence that comes with it. I finally look at the paths I walk everyday and smile at the thought I once had that I’d never get used to such a “big” campus. Now, Montclair State feels so small to me (in the coziest, safest way).
I took a chance and chose to live in The Village, an apartment style dorm, with a few friends – something I was scared of doing in past years out of fear it’d cause pressure and strain in friendships. Instead, it brought me stronger relationships with girls I genuinely miss after a few days of not seeing each other. It baffles me to think that by the time this article is posted, our late night talks on the living room couch and impromptu Wawa and Wendy’s runs will be coming to an end.
One of the biggest thank yous goes to the friend group I became part of my spring semester. They made me feel so wanted and appreciated, especially in a time I needed it. They are the ones that filled my last few months with core memories and movie moments that are truly unforgettable, from playing “Mario Party” until four a.m. when we all had early mornings to line dancing on the beach at midnight, or running around the parking garage roof or petting mini therapy horses.
Thank you to those three friends for giving me some of the most wholesome and pure moments I have ever had, leaving me with such a sweet taste in my mouth for senior year and making me feel like I was in a coming-of-age movie when we’d meet up.
There’s also my girls who I can always count on to go out with me for a good time. In the short time I’ve known them, they have been some of the most considerate, generous and down-to-do-it people I’ve met, and I love knowing that the adventures I have with them are nowhere near over. We’ve done Florida and Atlantic City; Vegas is just around the corner.
My Bible Study girls are my rarest friendships. They’re the ones that kept my love for God strong even amidst a public college where, of course, not everyone will have the same beliefs. Every week, these girls taught me something different about how to receive and share the faith, and they each individually inspire me to experience life as a child of God and share our gifts in such varied ways. People don’t realize how difficult it is to find friends that care just as strongly about growing in faith, let alone care about helping you grow and not just themselves.
And even with these new friends and closer bonds, I am eternally grateful for the “old” relationships that stayed along the way, too.
A part of my heart will always be with my girl that I’ve been through all of college with, from some of the most anxiety-inducing journalism classes to the most unexpected adventures like helicopter rides and midnight dips in the ocean. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for whatever event or experience randomly elevated our friendship from editing videos for class together to being the first person I called to cry over FaceTime to because of some upsetting situation that we shall never talk about again. I didn’t have to think so hard when we were together, and I never doubted whether I could trust her. Thank you to her for letting me just be. If a safe place was a person for me in my time on campus, it’s her.
I had a few key people that stayed constant throughout my four years. From my Montclarion and Her Campus friends to my journalism-buddies-turned-poli-sci-majors, all the way to my hometown friends, these are people that filled my week with fun and support and inspiration. The Montclarion and Her Campus provided me with opportunities I never would’ve been blessed with if it weren’t for joining these organizations. I would not be the student journalist I am today without the articles I’ve grueled over and the people I’ve networked with. I’m thankful to say I met, connected and worked with some insanely motivated and intelligent peers through these clubs, and I would not push as hard as I do if it weren’t for seeing how talented they are.
Thank you also to my best friend back at home for always being there for me even if we don’t talk all the time. It is such a lovely feeling rooting for each other to grow and accomplish all we did even if we were experiencing such different things throughout our time in college. And it was an even better feeling catching up with each other all those times that we did reunite. Her kind soul and hard work have always stuck with me; she’s someone I know is always rooting for me whether close or far, and vice versa.
Along the way, some “old” relationships even returned. The one I thought I lost junior year came back to me right before senior year. And now, I am so proud to say I started and ended college with the same partner. It’s been a privilege experiencing college alongside this person even with him going to a completely different university. Through it all, he has known the things I’ve been through and the goals I’ve created better than anyone else and has remained patient with me even when I was losing patience with myself. He has taken understanding and support to a whole new level and has been my rock in many ways. College gave us so many opportunities to grow as individuals while still growing together, and now I am genuinely grateful we are the ones to watch each other walk on the stage and get our diplomas because he knows better than anyone else some of the obstacles I’ve overcome during my time in college, and he has been a big reason why I’ve been able to move through them.
But as I say my bittersweet goodbyes and thank yous, my biggest goes to my family. Not only did they financially carry me all the way, but throughout these past four years, my parents have supported and encouraged me through a major that is far from what most people in my culture and family pursue. They, along with my best friend/sister, applauded me through every minor and major accomplishment I’ve made, fully believing I have what it takes to tackle whatever other path I take. They’ve been my biggest support system and cheerleaders. Without them, I wouldn’t have been able to set foot at Montclair State let alone try all that I did. Even once my four years in college have officially come to a close, it’s their love and excitement that will continue to motivate me until I’m at retirement. Nothing I say or do can repay my parents and sister for setting me up to succeed the way they have.
With this many people to thank and this many seized opportunities and memories to carry out of college with me, I don’t feel quite ready to say goodbye to my time at school. But I can walk away knowing these are truly some of the best and most formative years I’ve been blessed with.
Cheers to the next chapter :)