Getting over a long time crush or a past boyfriend is difficult. There are inevitably a lot of tears and lots of ice cream (for me anyway). It may feel like your entire world is crashing down, and you’re going to die of a heartache. You’re the main character of every sad love song out there. But the fact of the matter is, the sun is still going to rise tomorrow, and you’re going to be okay. I’ve been there, and I’m still there.
I had the largest crush on one of my friends from back home for the longest time. It was to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything else but him. I was in deep… Before I knew it, my actions started to reflect off of his preferences and attitude. If he liked a certain quality or trait in a girl, I found myself trying to become that girl, even if it wasn’t a quality that I liked or had myself – if he didn’t like a certain trait in a girl, I would try to myself to get rid of those traits, even if they weren’t bad ones. His words affected my moods tremendously. If he complimented me on something, I’d be flying all day, being the happiest person in a room. If he was in a bad mood or wasn’t very nice on a particular day, my mood reflected his actions. I’d be in an even worse mood than he was.
My actions took a toll on our relationship though. Before I started to like him, we were pretty good friends. We talked and enjoyed each other’s company and I considered him as a good friend of mine. But once I started liking him, things became super awkward and uncomfortable for us. We stopped talking, and other people thought that we didn’t have a good relationship. My friends and even teachers would tell me that they could see me glancing at him from time to time. They told me that he knew that I liked him and that it made him feel uncomfortable. It was awful and this was the last thing that I wanted in my relationship with him. I found out later that he had a girlfriend, and that he was happy. That’s when I decided that I needed to let him go, not for him or his girlfriend, but for myself. In a way, I resented him – not that he had a girlfriend, but that he didn’t set me straight sooner. He might’ve been trying to be considerate of my feelings, and for that I’m grateful, but I can’t help but think that I would’ve gotten over him sooner if he had.
It took a long time, and I can’t say that I’m 100% over him, but I can say with confidence that I’m getting there. I don’t care what he thinks as much anymore. I do my own thing and do as I please. We still don’t talk, and I doubt it’ll ever be the same, but that’s okay because there’s a lesson that I learned from this entire experience and I want you all to realize this too – without all the heartbreak that I went through.
No guy, or anyone for that matter, is going to love and respect you if you don’t do the same for yourself. That was me, not confident in my appearance and weight, the way I dressed, everything. I wanted people to love and value me, so I found myself trying to reach their standards and their criteria of beauty when it clearly wasn’t me in the first place. Respect and cherish yourself. As cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth. We all know that we should because that’s what everyone says, even in the magazines, but do we really follow through? Well, I’m going to say it loud and proud because it’s the truth.
You’re beautiful, and someone to be cherished and treasured. You deserve the best of the best, and you’re a gem. You deserve someone who loves you for you, despite the “flaws” that you think you have. You deserve someone who can raise you up high, and pick you up when you’re at your lowest. You deserve all those things, but you need to tell yourself that first. The person who loves you the most needs to be you, not a significant other. Then and only then will a guy, or anyone, realize your true value and treat you accordingly.
So this is a shout-out to all you beautiful gals out there. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, and that you deserve better. Respect and love yourself. Be proud of who you are. Because you know what? You’re enough, and you don’t need a man or a significant other to tell you that.