Dear Lessons Learned,
I’m sorry that it took so long for me to get back to you, I’ve been held up a while and it took some time to adjust since our last meeting. I hope that you don’t think that I’m avoiding you or that I’m not appreciative, you were just a little overwhelming the last time we spoke. I didn’t realize how much you had to tell me nor did you warm me of your brashness. I would’ve brought a notebook and a box of tissues if I knew we were hitting this subject. I mean, I convinced myself for so long that I was ready to move on from the level that I was on when it turned out I wasn’t even close. I wanted so badly to reach the next step that I lied to myself. I told myself that you didn’t have anything else to teach me on this topic and that I had control from here. I fooled myself into thinking that what you had to offer was minuscule and useless. But, this was probably the biggest lesson I’ve had to learn in a while. It couldn’t have been easy though. You must’ve had to work up the courage to tell me that I was getting ahead of myself and diving deeper into a pool that I knew I couldn’t swim in. Hey, it’s ok. You saved me from drowning. I know now that each time I told myself, “I am ready,” I was getting closer and closer to falling in without anyone there to bring me up for air. I’m here to embrace you and finally listen to what you so desperately needed to tell me. I’m not ready. I’m not ready for that next relationship. I’m not ready to let go of all the hurt that people have caused. I’m not ready to stop carrying the baggage that I’ve held for so many years. I have to be honest and say it proud. Although I want to skip to the end and be the ultimate version of myself, there are still some things I have to deal with first. I’m afraid this level is going to take a few more unsolved riddles and trapped doors. Just promise me you won’t say, “I told you so,” when I have to revisit some old lessons. I’m growing as I go. I look forward to when we meet again.
Your Favorite Student