An Open Letter to the Girl Who Always Compares Herself to Others 

It’s really difficult not to compare oneself to others. I constantly find myself seeing what others are doing or how they look, and I can’t help but think that I am not doing enough. I have been striving to just focus on myself recently, and I cannot stress how much it has improved my own personal motivation and my confidence. This goes out to anyone who has looked down on themselves: it will only hinder your own personal growth! Let’s practice some real self-love and appreciate who we are.

A big issue of mine until recently was thinking that I was never doing enough towards my career goals. I was really feeling the heat come fall of my junior year because I felt like time was slipping by for my chance to get an internship. I thought I was wasting my time in college, I didn’t know anything and I wouldn’t be able to ever get a job. I was nervous because I still wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do with my career. 

Everyone around me seemed like they totally had it together. It seemed like everyone had internships lined up, made connections and already knew exactly what they wanted to do. First off, for anyone who has felt a similar way, this is a terrible way to think about yourself and your career. When you have this perspective, you’ll literally always feel overwhelmed. Because of this you’ll miss deadlines, lose motivation, and always be stressed. 

You need to turn this negative thought around by making a list of all your accomplishments. Guaranteed, if you are in college, you’re already working towards your career. List everything that you have learned, attempted and achieved that you’re proud of. I’m sure you will surprise yourself with all that you have already done. 

When you’re constantly telling yourself that you haven’t done anything, you’re going to overlook every success you’ve had. Once you make yourself realize that you’re not simply wasting your time in college, you then need to think about what else would you like to do before you graduate. What clubs would you like to join? Is there volunteer work you’d like to do? Are there any electives that could teach you a different skill set? Establish what you want to be doing to improve yourself, and make it happen! Don’t be afraid to ask others for advice. Those friends who seem to have themselves together were not born with a perfect resume and professional profile! They learned, and you can learn too!

Always remember that what people may present to the world online and even in person does not necessarily show the whole story. You may see someone who is total fitness and lifestyle goals, making it easy to feel bad about yourself. While you may feel like you’re not living your best life and you wish to be ‘perfect’, please realize that whoever you may see could be feeling the same thing you are feeling. Everyone has their own obstacles, insecurities and bad days just like you. 

Constantly comparing how you look to others will never get you anywhere. It will only give you more insecurities. Just because someone is different from you, does not mean that what you have or how you live your life is flawed. When you compare yourself to others, you will start to see all the aspects of your being that make you unique as flaws. As cliche as it is, you need to embrace what makes you unique! When you embrace who you are, your confidence will radiate. 

It takes too much energy to always focus on the negative. Instead of putting all that energy into critical thoughts about yourself, you need to practice utilizing your time to do things you love, and that will help you grow. If you find yourself always on social media getting lost in your feed, take a social media break. Use that time that you would spend looking at other people’s lives and focus on something that you’re passionate about. Who you are and what you’re doing is amazing. Keep being you!   

 

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