When it comes to new experiences and meeting new people, I sometimes tend to find excuses to avoid them. As someone who suffers with anxiety, these things can be pretty difficult to deal with. All throughout high school and freshman year of college, I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I was scared of what was going to happen. There came a point where I decided I was tired of missing out and I wanted to live my life without letting anxiety take control over it. Here’s what happened.
While dorming at MSU my freshman year, I received an Instagram DM from the store manager at Abercrombie and Fitch in Willowbrook Mall, New Jersey asking me if I would be interested in a job position at their store. Honestly speaking, I was skeptical at first and was very close to not responding and just declining the offer. The experience I had at my first job working in retail was pretty awful and I was terrified about ever working retail again. However, I thought “What if things could be different this time?” it doesn’t hurt to give it a shot and I was in desperate need of a job #brokecollegegirl. I went for the interview, got the job, went to orientation, and started my first shift on May 11, 2018. Fast forward to present day, to where I’ll almost be hitting my one year mark since I started working at A&F. I got promoted to Lead Brand Representative after 5 months and I have made some amazing friends! Thinking back on how I was going to pass up on the offer makes me really glad I didn’t! I would have never met any of the amazing friends I have now and I would have not have experienced any of the fun moments I had while working at Abercrombie.
Now, let’s talk about socializing — the hardest part of life for me. I don’t want to sound like I’m anti-social because I’m not, but when you’re both an introvert and struggling with social anxiety, socializing isn’t exactly the easiest of things. About two years ago I moved about an hour away from my hometown in North Bergen, New Jersey. I now live in a more rural part of northern New Jersey which took a lot of getting used to. Since moving here, I joined a Christian church that my aunt had introduced to my mom and I. At first it was tricky, especially since we had belonged to a Catholic church back home. Our new church has opened up so many doors for both my mom and I in lots of different aspects. For starters, I met my boyfriend, Matthew. Since we started dating, he introduced me to one of our church’s fellowship groups called Connect. He had asked me to attend a meeting so that I can connect (no pun intended) with other people my age and make some new friends! The funny thing is that my mom was trying to get me to join this group way before I met Matt, but I was way too nervous to do so. The thought of being the “new girl” in an environment where everyone knew each other for years was really intimidating. I guess I was meant to join because ever since then, I have met some of the funniest and nicest people and I get to be part of some cool bonding events like taco parties and fun trips to the city! Also, of course, the best part is being able to spend time with my boyfriend and being involved with the things in his life that he’s really passionate about.
So, the lesson here is to take chances. As scary as it may be, you never know how things could turn out and you can find yourself meeting your best friend, a new boyfriend/girlfriend, or even a team of people. The moment I realized that I no longer wanted to wonder “What if?” is when I began to nudge myself out of my comfort zone. I’m proud of myself for all that I have accomplished. I’m still making progress and it can be a little tough for me to say yes from time to time, but I now find myself being more honest and quitting the excuses. I control the reigns of my life and you control yours. Live your life to the fullest, you only have one!