First of all… I thank TikTok for leading me up to this point. Just as I felt my life becoming very messy, unorganized and having little to no time to myself, I learned something extremely important. Why don’t we treat ourselves in our own love language? You can learn more about love languages and understanding yours in this article.
I have two love languages: acts of service and quality time. As much as I love a cuddle sesh with my boyfriend or watching The Bachelor with my sister, I love spending time with myself. Especially when I specifically plan to do so and sit in my thoughts. I know this sounds scary; sometimes, your conscience can be your worst enemy. Lately, I’ve been starting my days with less social media and a little more me-time beforehand. This is where acts of service come in; I love doing little things that make me happy within that moment or will last the rest of the day. I started making my bed more often and lighting a candle to brighten up the vibe. If I leave my house that day, I know I can come back to a clean space with the soft aroma of vanilla filled up in my bedroom.
I’ve felt myself glowing up in the past two months, and as corny as it sounds, it comes from within. Here are a couple of ways I practice my love languages.
Acts of Service
I’m a Taurus, and I can get real lazy. I used to keep my room unorganized for the longest periods of time. On my busiest days, my boyfriend would clean my room (love that man), and I’d get to walk into a room that I felt comfortable relaxing in. On my own, I would tidy up here and there until my room would become too much to handle. I decided to dedicate my entire day to giving her a full deep clean. And that’s when it clicked: I remembered how gratifying it is to do it myself; I love the satisfaction of cleaning up my room and seeing the result of all the hard work! I get so giddy when I see my bed nicely made and my work desk perfectly clean.
To keep things simple, treat yourself. Think about what makes you sigh of relief and happiness after you’re done doing it. I love giving myself a spa night; this means a whole 2-3 hours of just me-time. Using a hair masque, shaving, exfoliating, moisturizing and ending it all off with my skincare routine. Meanwhile, I play my favorite playlists and keep my phone on Do Not Disturb.
Quality Time
Sometimes it’s scary to just do things on your own, especially in public. The world can be a scary place for women. But that doesn’t mean there’s no way of having your alone time to center yourself. Whether you’re strolling around aimlessly in Target (one of my fav pastimes!), sitting on your front porch or tidying up your room, always make time for yourself.
I like spending time by myself free of distractions at least once a day. This can look different every day, depending on my schedule. On my busiest days, I take a couple of minutes before going to bed to reflect. I allow all my thoughts to flow, the intrusive ones and the great ones. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to climb past my insecurities and doubts in life and falling in love with who I’m becoming.
Your relationship with yourself comes before anyone else’s. The way you treat yourself affects the ones around you; don’t forget to put yourself first, no matter how busy life may get!