The holiday season is typically a time for everyone to celebrate with their loved ones and enjoy all the great things the world has to offer. But sometimes, the season can be torn apart by the loss of a loved one. Even the first holiday season without a loved one can be rough, but having gone through two separate losses in the month of December myself, I’ve learned some tips and tricks to help us cope with a tragedy during the “most wonderful time of the year.”
Don’t stop yourself from mourning
First things first, you have to allow yourself to feel sad (or, whatever other emotion comes and goes). Preventing these feelings is only hurting yourself and the other people around you. Instead of holding it all in, schedule time to feel whatever you need to feel. Get it out. Cry a little (or a lot). Eat some ice cream, watch Netflix, or curl into your bed and think about life. Whatever you need to do to help you mourn, DO IT!
Make extra time to do the things you enjoy
It might be easy to stop yourself from doing the things you enjoy because you’re feeling sad, but once you’ve given yourself time to mourn, remember that this season is supposed to be a happy one. Indulge in your favorite sweets, watch some festive movies and take the time to do whatever else reminds you to relax and enjoy life.
Spend time with family
To be honest, everyone is going to be sad and that means spending time with family members could be a downer. People are going to want to shy away from the typical celebrations, but that’s all the more reason to celebrate the season: remind everyone that even if your loved one isn’t with you in person, they are there in spirit and wouldn’t have wanted you to change your celebrations for them. (Of course, if your spiritual or religious beliefs forbid celebration during mourning time, remember to respect that!)
Tell people what’s going on
Don’t be afraid to tell your teachers and classmates what’s going on in your life. They’ll more than likely be very understanding, and may even help you to refocus on the important things. The more support you can muster during this time, the better!
Talk about that person
This is definitely the hardest thing to do. My family has unfortunately lost two people during the holiday season, and the first time, we didn’t talk about them at all. It made things worse. Ignoring what happened doesn’t make dealing with it any better. Talk about the good times. Remember your favorite memories with that person. Honor them in a special way. Make it a point to talk about the situation with others. This tip made the second loss much easier for everyone in my family.