You’re out with friends on your typical Saturday night, and out of the blue, you notice that there are more couples than usual. More are sitting side by side instead of across from each other. Some are even gazing a little too passionately into their partner’s eyes. To top it off, out of the corner of your eye, you spot that one couple who has to make it uncomfortable for everyone else by locking lips the whole time.
I’m not opposed to love, or the display of love, but we all know that line. That line is the boundary line between you smiling at seeing two people happy and those who making it publicly known that they can’t keep their hands off of each other. You’re crawling in your skin, and all you do is turn away. You turn away because it’s awkward to witness but you also secretly wish you had at least someone to do that with. Don’t worry, I won’t tell your secret.
Whether you’re single out of choice or you’re actively looking in the meantime, this one’s for you. My name is Yazmenne Archer and I’m single. This is what it feels like when I tell people my “status.” It’s like I’m in a meeting confessing my vice and seeking help. Being single is looked down upon so much these days, sometimes I do feel like I should get some “help.” I start thinking to myself: “Maybe I should put myself out there more! Maybe it is time that I start dating again!” There are so many “maybes” that go through my head, but I have to remember where I am now. I’m independent and capable. I’m here for a reason and it is better that I spend this time the best that I can, right?
Don’t get me wrong, we all get caught up in the trend that is “netflix and chill” and hope that the guy in our chemistry class is planning an elaborate way to ask us out. You’re walking to class and the people walking next to you are holding hands and you sigh. But that sigh doesn’t have to be a “must be nice” sigh but a “that is beautiful that they have that” sigh. It can be as simple as that because you realize that what they have is meant for them only. You can separate yourself and end the comparison. You can stop telling yourself that you are lacking or “without” which causes this moment in your life. “I am single because…” Stop the explanation. Stop asking the “why?” If you want to finish that statement, finish it with this: “ … because it is time that I start returning the attention to me and giving myself what I deserve.”
The truth is, there’s no how-to on being ok with the single life. There’s no how-to because you don’t need it. You have time. Stop searching for a reason, for a negative in this situation. What’s negative about finally getting some time for yourself and embracing that? You’re managing better than you think and trust me, you still have some eyes on you. Regardless of a significant other in your life or not, you have and always will be a star. No one can take that away from you, not even a title.