Game of Thrones Season 8 Premiere Recap

“You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen, earn her.”

One package of Game of Thrones branded Oreos: eaten. One bottle of Johnnie Walker White Walker: guzzled.

After a nearly two-year hiatus, “Game of Thrones” is back for its eighth and final season. The season premiere aired on Sunday, April 14 at 9 o’clock pm and the entire world was watching. Assuming that you are one of the very few people who missed this pop culture phenomenon — don’t worry I’ve got the low down on the seven kingdoms.

Episode one, titled “Winterfell” gears us up for the inevitable battle between the seven kingdoms and the white walkers. Cersei, still preggers, has agreed to fight in unison with the North but her motives are always, always sketchy. It is unclear what Cersei has up her sleeve for this season, but one can only imagine how diabolical things are about to get.

For the first time since season one, the Stark children are all together and reunited at Winterfell where John Snow, Daenerys Targaryen and Tirian Lannister all show up on horses with an army of Unsullied, Dothraki and of course, dragons. Sansa is displeased with Daenerys presence because she thinks that John Snow is fighting for the North only because he is in love with the Mother of Dragons, but she’s doing her best to remain civil through all of the tension.

Arya Stark comes face to face with The Hound, still alive and well as he shows up unprecedented in Winterfell. Strangely enough, he was impressed by Arya’s gullets to leave him to die back in season four.      

Sam Tally reveals to John Snow the truth about himself and his biological father, finding out that he is the true heir to the iron throne, which means that he should be the rightful ruler of the seven kingdoms. The episode ended with Jamie Lannister appearing on camera and slowly turning around to see Bran staring right back at him with that complacent look he always has on his face.

This episode was not so much action-packed as it was informative and catching true GOT fans up to speed. This was the clarifier and refresher that we all needed, and Twitter has been flooded with hilarious memes to prove it.