As my college journey comes to a close, I find myself pondering about my life leading up to this moment. I think about all of the choices I’ve made thus far and how those outcomes have gotten me to where I am today.
Most of my life I would stress about where I’d end up and if I’d be okay. Things that weren’t in my control at the time were always flooding my mind. I always needed an answer even if it was five years ahead of me. It made me feel better and made me feel more adept to taking on life.
I dedicate this letter to my younger self, as an update on life and a reminder of her importance.
Dear Younger Me,
I have sooo much to tell you. All the good, the bad, the ugly. You won’t believe any of it because yes, you can most definitely compare it to a movie.
First of all, you made it. And I’m so proud of you.Â
If you could see all of the things you were terrified to face but took on gracefully, you’d be proud of yourself as well.
The journey has been long and hard but not impossible. Starting college, you had no idea what you wanted to do. You considered a couple of majors such as premed, fashion and prelaw. After trying them out though, you still felt disconnected. You still felt like none of them embodied who you were and what you love. You were forcing yourself to try things that seemed out of realm so that you can be stable. But sacrificing happiness for stability backfires in the long run.
After doing a deep dive of different majors, you stumbled across public relations. Although it didn’t fully appeal to you, you took a class and quickly realized that it was something that you could see yourself doing. You have always had a love for a certain lifestyle and this major embraces it.
Two and a half years later, you are completing your final classes for the major and applying to all the fashion pr jobs you could possibly lay your eyes on. Although it’s been hard, you don’t stress anymore. You remind yourself that everything works out the way it should at the end of the day and you’ll be thriving in whatever job you choose.
You also successfully made it through your first heartbreak. Although it wasn’t a relationship you had hoped to have, it’s helped you grow and flourish in ways that you won’t even believe. If you didn’t think you could get any stronger, think again. You are able to handle and experience difficult emotions/situations in a more mature and calm manner.
You also are surrounded by some of the most incredible friends and family, and the bond you have with them is way different than you had envisioned for yourself four years ago. They’re the most supportive and open group of people ever. The love you have for them surpasses any negative emotion you have faced.
And the best part of it all is your relationship with yourself. This is where you’re fully able to see your growth. All of the things that you questioned about yourself previously have slipped away.
One piece of advice: stop trying to grow up so fast. Stop trying to rush everything and just enjoy the present. Although easier said than done, you miss out on some of life’s most important moments when you can’t escape your mind. You have lots of time and a lot of exciting transitions/changes to look forward to.
Another piece of advice: spend more time with the people you love. As easy as it is to isolate yourself and let yourself go through life without anyone’s help, having them around can make life feel so much easier. And life is never certain, so say I love you and hug them tight before it’s too late.
I know you feel like you don’t hear this enough, but I am so proud of you. You are loved, you are valued, you are seen and you are important. There are people who love and care about you and you haven’t even met them yet. Don’t give up.Â
All my love,
Allexea