The age old question that we will probably never get down to a science is when it’s appropriate to text, and when it’s not. While the general rule of thumb is to go with your gut and just make sure you’re not overbearing, there are some tricks of the trade to help guide you through the minefield that is the male species.
When he gives you his number:
A man walks into your job. You flirt. He gives you his number. What do you do? If he’s taken the initiative to give you his number (without you asking for it), then there’s a good possibility he’d like to see where things will go – subject to his interpretation of course. Take a day to digest everything you can about the man you’ve only known for 15 minutes. If it seems like something you’d be interested in, shoot him a fun – and flirty – text. Make sure to not come on too strong or too desperate though. Be sure not to get involved with him if it’s someone you don’t think you’ll be interested though, nothing is worse than leading someone on.
When he asks for your number too:
A mutual exchange of numbers can be a dicey place to sit. If he’s taken the initiative to not only give, but also receive a number, chances are high that he’s definitely interested. Wait for him to call or text you first; but in the event it’s been three days and you haven’t heard anything, text him.
When and if the texting does commence though, don’t mistake his politeness for liking you. Play a little hard to get – not impossible to reach – to make sure that he is in fact looking to see where things lead and not just being a gentleman.
When you’ve been seeing each other:
You’ve been on a couple of casual movie/coffee dates, and you really like the guy, but can’t tell if he likes you back. Don’t panic. The man may just be busy, career-orientated, or otherwise terrible at texting.
If you don’t hear from him in a couple of days post dinner-date, try calling instead. Leave a message saying what a great time you’ve had and would love to meet up with him in between classes or on your lunch hour. If he doesn’t respond, it may be time to reevaluate if you were last minute filler or someone he actually wanted to spend time with.
When he’s your boyfriend:
So you haven’t heard from him in a day. Don’t automatically assume he’s mad at you, he’s cheating, or worse. His schedule is obviously different than yours, and perhaps you’re better at multitasking and juggling things than he is. Instead of freaking out, shoot him a text before you go to sleep, or when you wake up in the morning letting him know that you’re thinking of him and appreciate he’s trying to be successful.
Remember to always be level-headed and not to invest too much time and emotion into something you’re not so sure. Never be pushy or desperate, but there’s nothing wrong with being independent and making clear how you feel, especially when you have everything to gain and nothing really to lose.
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