The cliché “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is something practically every girl has heard before. But being a girl is not the easiest thing. Many of us want to be thought of as universally beautiful, especially when we are younger. With the heavy presence of the media in society today, there are so many false expectations out there that girls think they have to live up to, I being one of them.
Flash back to when I was about eleven years old, puberty was in my near future and I realized that certain features of mine were beginning to change. Always looking too young for my age, I was excited about these changes. As the months progressed and I continued to stare in the mirror for hours waiting for some “remarkable” difference, I did realize that my nose was beginning to change. When I had mentioned this to my parents they would joke and say it was my Italian heritage, but then of course followed up with the parental obligatory message “you are beautiful the way you are.” But I had a hard time accepting this new change.
Growing up with two brothers I was practically living a double life – tomboy by day and girly girl by night. I was the little girl wearing a pretty dress while getting dirty playing kickball in the backyard, but I always had a soft spot when it came to my self-esteem. I used to center on the idea that I was super short and young looking for my age, but I knew that was something I couldn’t fix and I accepted that. However, being a young teenage girl while also being an avid reader of entertainment magazines, I began to fixate on beauty and ways I could enhance mine. The gorgeous women in these magazines fascinated me; however, being naive I didn’t realize many, if not all, were photoshopped. But I will never forget when I saw Hillary Duff’s transformation. Once this young girl who I idolized so much growing up, she was now this beautiful adult. Next to her picture, a headline read that she had gotten a nose job and instantly I knew I needed this for myself – but more importantly for my confidence. Being way too young to even play with the thought of getting a nose job, I put it off.
Having spent the years between puberty until late teenage years constantly fixating on a bump (that people swore was not there) and hating the way my nose widened too much when I smiled, I was finally able to convince my parents to let me go through with the procedure. Knowing that this was super important to me for years now, they tried to talk me out of it, but were extremely supportive throughout which is definitely what I needed.
After booking my surgery with one of Manhattans elite plastic surgeons, I felt as though I was reliving my childhood. Emotions that came out reminded me of that once little girl who hated the way she looked when she was in the mirror. In the days leading up to my surgery I had many sleepless nights, wondering if this surgery was going to help me feel the way I wanted to feel. I had worked extremely hard to pay for the surgery and I wanted it to go perfect.
As I woke up from the operating table, I was extremely groggy, but I remember smiling when I had heard the doctor tell my parents the surgery was a “home run.” I wanted to thank him and run to look in a mirror, but as you can imagine being bandaged, bloody and under the effects of anesthesia, it was quite difficult.
After the few days of suffering and bed-ridden hair were over, I looked in the mirror and realized that this decision was the right one. While still extremely swollen and in pain, I could instantly tell the difference. The nose that once made me feel bad about myself was gone and that was all that mattered to me, no matter how swollen I was.
Months later, my nose is everything I ever dreamed of. The bump is gone and the tip is skinnier and not so much like a bulb anymore. Now when I take pictures, I don’t rush to see what my nose looks like, and when I look in a mirror I still see my Italian heritage.
Everyone has his or her own opinions of what “true beauty” is, but I believe that beauty is confidence. If a nose job was able to give me the confidence that I needed then I should not be labeled shallow, just as the next person goes on a diet to feel better about themselves or gets a boob job. Own your decisions and be proud of them. There is no shame in making things happen for yourself, especially if they better you emotionally.
However, one thing I have learned through my journey is to make sure that whatever you do, or need to do, make sure it is for the right reason. Do it for yourself. For me, I did it for the little girl who was uneasy about herself all because of something that was so easy to change. But also do it for your future self. To begin with a cliché, it is only right to end with one, “The best accessory a girl can own is confidence.” And now being confident in who I am, I definitely can agree. Confidence truly is the best makeup a girl can wear.