Q: My boyfriend doesn’t want me talking this guy I know. We’re only friends, but should I stop to make my boyfriend happy?
A: Ah, I’ve heard this story before! This situation happens quite often in relationships, and especially in the first few months. I’m all about female empowerment and never letting a guy control your life, but I’m also all about taking your significant other’s feelings into consideration and looking at the bigger picture. Relationships that last are the ones with communication, loyalty, and trust. It’s important to realize that you can, in fact, have a life outside of your boyfriend and you both do not need to have the same group of friends. Throughout your relationship, you both will grow, meet new people, and have different experiences. With that said, here are my suggestions, which all depend on who this “guy” is:
If he’s just a friend…
Your boyfriend is most likely wondering what this guy has that he doesn’t, and he should definitely not feel that way. Everything seems worse without knowing someone or getting the full story, and as girls, we all know what happens when we overthink situations. Therefore, why not have them meet? If your boyfriend gets to know him, he’ll see that you only have a platonic relationship with this person. You won’t have to sacrifice any relationship you have with him, and your boyfriend’s worries will wither away. Double win!
If he’s an ex boyfriend…
If this person happens to be an ex, then cut off all ties. If he’s not in your circle of friends, it just looks sketchy on your part. I mean, think about how you’d feel if the situation were reversed. It’s completely understandable for your boyfriend to feel uncomfortable or angry. Even if there’s nothing going on between you and your ex, you’re in a situation where you should go with what’s appropriate rather than what’s disrespectful, which is staying in contact with him. Avoid creating any trust issues, and just leave your ex in the past.
If he’s just an acquaintance…
If this guy happens to be a friend of a friend or someone you once met at a party, then I would continue being friendly with him. He’s simply an acquaintance, and it shouldn’t be an issue if he liked your photo on Instagram or started following you on Twitter. If your boyfriend gets extremely jealous and angry with you over things you cannot control, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Do you want to be with someone who tells you who you can or can’t be friends with? Every girl is in the relationship she chooses to be in, so choose wisely!
Remember, collegiettes, being with someone means that you’ll be able to easily discuss issues with the other person. Being open and honest helps build trust, which is the foundation to every healthy relationship. No friendship should get in the way of that, so respect your boyfriend and respect yourself!