Body image is one of the most critical focal points a person can have on themselves. About 97% of females have a negative mindset towards their bodies. A girl can start to have a negative mindset on her body as young as 10 years old. I remember that was the age I started feeling ashamed of my own body.
When I was in the fourth grade I had my first scoliosis test done by the school nurse. She would have me and three other girls in my class take off our shirts leaving us in our training bras. At first it felt weird as I’ve never been in my bra in front of my classmates before, but it wasn’t until this one girl in my class started staring at my stomach while smirking and holding in a laugh. At that age, my body was growing and I never thought twice about it until that scoliosis test. My mom told me it was just baby fat but I didn’t see it that way. I glanced at the girls next to me and not one of them had any extra stomach rolls like I did. I immediately turned bright red from embarrassment and began to cover up my stomach. From that point on, I started disliking my body and comparing myself to other girls. Why didn’t my body look like theirs? Why can’t I wear a bikini like that? Little by little, people would start to make comments about my body for example, this one kid I used to play soccer with. One day during soccer practice, my coach paired me up to play goalie against this kid, let’s call him Brian. As soon as the coach paired us up, Brian says, “You want me to play against her?? No! Look at her, she’s huge!”. That shattered me. He embarrassed me in front of the whole team. Brian ended up running laps for that rude remark but that didn’t make me feel any better.
As I got older, my insecurities got worse. I would look into the mirror and see a body twice as big staring back at me when in reality, my mind was playing tricks on me. I hated going shopping, I hated trying on clothes, I hated taking pictures, and I hated the summer because that meant fewer layers of clothing and more shorts and swimsuits. My friends and family would always tell me I was overreacting and that I looked fine, but I didn’t believe that. I would constantly go to the bathroom to make sure my hair was intact and to check that there was nothing on my face. In any window reflection I would walk past, I would always glance to see what my body looked like. It became such a habit that I didn’t realize I was even doing it. To some, that may sound extremely vain, but for me, it was far from it. This is when I realized that I struggle with body dysmorphia. I didn’t even know that was a thing! I just thought that I was just being paranoid and insecure. I wasn’t doing these things because I thought I was pretty, I was doing it because I was so paranoid at the thought of looking “ugly”.
The way we’re made to feel as a kid sticks with us throughout our life. We need to be more aware of what comes out of our mouths because we don’t realize how one comment could totally change a person for life, even if that person is yourself. Words can be hurtful because we can’t take them back once they’ve been said. Society puts tons of pressure on girls to look and act a certain way because of movies, TV shows, social media, and magazines. A certain body type is glamorized and deemed as beautiful and we’re told that if we look that way, then boys will like us. Social media pressures us to fake our lives and edit the way we look for likes. We’re constantly trying to get the right angles or FaceTune our pictures. It’s so tiring.
Now, body positivity is growing more and more and has become something a lot of girls (and guys) are learning to accept and embrace. I’m starting to follow more people on Instagram that promote body positivity. If you struggle with the same thing, I recommend you do a fresh cleaning of who you follow on social media. I recently unfollowed anyone who doesn’t contribute anything positive or inspiring for me. Following tons of Instagram models doesn’t do anything for me except have me wishing I looked like them. That’s not healthy. It’s not their fault but I just need to follow people who are going to inspire and motivate me.
I’m trying to care for my body even if my stomach may be soft or if my thighs jiggle. For so long, I’ve let my mind bully my body and it’s extremely damaging to my mental health. The more you spew out negativity on yourself, the more you’ll eventually start to believe it. It’s not easy to start accepting and loving yourself if you’ve gone your whole life thinking otherwise. You don’t just wake up one day and not care what anyone has to say, you have to work towards it.