I love sugar. Like, seriously – I can’t stop eating it. Candy, cookies, brownies, cakes . . . I’m obsessed. And after years and years of not being able to curb my sweet cravings, I’ve decided to just embrace it. But, over time I’ve come to realize that there some things only people like me will understand.
It’s not a want, it’s a need
“You don’t really need that” is the worst thing you could possibly say to me. Don’t even think it. I can sense when you do and I will automatically hate you for it.
Dessert is an absolute must
I don’t care if I just ate an entire steak, a baked potato, and a full cup of soup. I absolutely do want that triple chocolate cake with ice cream on top.
We always have a secret stash
And sometimes, it’s really embarrassing. Why do we hide jelly beans in our swimsuit drawer or chocolate bars in the fridge? Because we need to know that those things are there for when we need them.
Sweet will always win over savory
Always. It’s not even a question.
The day after holidays are our favorite day
All the candy and specialty treats go on sale, and you bet we will make the time to get to the store and stock up until the next holiday comes around.
More of our free spending money goes towards sweets than pretty much anything else
Oh, I have an extra $5 this week. That can buy two bags of candy, or one slice of cake. Oh, the choices…
If we are in a store, we will look at the candy (and cookies and juices and…)
Don’t even bring us if you want to avoid this. In fact, don’t even let us get into the car. The minute we sense that we are nearby to sweets, we need some.
If you bring us a treat, it’ll make our day
You’ll also be our favorite person ever (at least until we eat them all). But don’t you dare ask for some.
One is never enough
Wait, I have to pick only one ice cream flavor? Well, that just won’t do.
Don’t tell us to stop eating sweets so we’ll lose weight
We know all the calories are going somewhere, but you either need to love us with that extra bit of sweetness or get out. We’re happier being like this with ice cream in hand than being skinny with lettuce.