I have never had a relationship before. I am twenty years old, and I have never dated anyone. Sure, I’ve been interested in guys, talked to someone and had the occasional hookup every now and then. But I have never been in love, had an official boyfriend or any of that. Most people would think that not ever having a relationship and being this old means that there is something wrong with you. Though I’m here to tell you it’s the exact opposite.
For the longest time I thought that there was something wrong. That I was not pretty or thin enough, was not super funny or outgoing, was not smart or cute enough. It’s hard when you see your friends and everyone else dating people and what not, but I’ve begun to change my mindset. There have many people that have come along where I have been very interested in them and have thought about pursuing something more than what we had. However, for the longest time, I was not in a good place to be in a relationship. Also, if I was not super into them and loved the thought of dating them, I was not going to. Relationships are work; I see with all my friends, my cousins, even my parents. It is something that you are always tending to and working on for it to grow. If you are not 100% in the relationship or into the person, there is no point in being in one.
There is nothing wrong with not ever having a significant other. If anything, when it does happen, it will make it all the more special. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you, it means the time for it to happen, has not happened yet, or you haven’t met the person yet. I think self-growth is necessary. The more I figure myself out, the more I know when I have a relationship, it will be the best it can be. I know what I am bringing to the table and what I am capable of and what I should be getting in return.
If you felt the way I felt all throughout high school, worried, weird, insecure; there really is no reason to. I know other people who have never had a relationship before who are older than me, and people who have had one or two that wish they had waited because it was not special for them. It does not make you any less of a person, teenager or young adult; it just means things haven’t happened yet for you, and that is totally okay.