That was the moment. The exact moment when it hit me. Last Wednesday, I’m driving home from class, cutting through a nearby neighborhood, on my way to work. I passed the tennis courts to my right, when I saw something that really put reality into perspective. A little boy, no older than five was, what seemed like, trying to ride his bike for the very first time.
And trailing behind him was his father. But his father wasn’t holding on to this little boy or encouraging him or even acknowledging him. He was on his phone. Blatantly unaware of anything. He was missing a minuscule moment, but in retrospect, so insanely monumental. That little boy is only going to be a little boy for a short time. That father isn’t going to get this time back.
Time is a privilege. Life is a gift. Too many of us are blind to the big picture of it all. Life needs to stop being forgotten about or wasted. It needs to be appreciated and lived to the fullest. In every possible way.
Put the phone down.
It’ll be there when you come back. We’re missing the true beauty of life, as cliché and corny as that sounds. I see it wherever I go. People’s eyes aren’t glued to their surroundings, but rather down at their phone. Too many are worried about getting that “perfect picture” and meanwhile, missing the events encircling them. We are so damn lucky to wake up and go, wherever it is that we go, and see this world. To see the waves at the beach, or the buildings in the city or the elderly and so-in-love couple on the sidewalk. Please don’t take advantage of that gift. Your phone will be there later on, but some of these people and memories won’t be.
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Notice the little things.
Sometimes, actually all the time (who am I kidding), when I’m driving, I start to distract myself a little: to notice what’s going on in the park that I just passed or up in the sky. By the way, I’ll never admit this to my mom, who thinks I’m the worst driver ever. I will always religiously disagree. Anyway, my point is, sometimes I won’t just notice there’s some hazy clouds in the sky covering a part of the moon. Instead I’ll notice how many stars there actually are and I like to think to myself one of them is my Grandma, watching over us.
Sometimes, instead of just noticing the leaves on the sidewalk from the tree are orange instead of green, notice the crunch noise they make when you step on each one and how the colors aren’t just orange, but instead, they are all vibrant shades of amber and copper and pumpkin. Notice the crisp air blowing through your windows, driving down the highway. Notice the way your father looks and smirks at your mother when she’s being quirky. Notice the little things. They may not seem like big things, but they are.
Don’t be afraid of judgment.
At the end of the day, you’re you. You’re not the man you passed on the street or the girl you passed on campus or the professor that very kindly gave you a D for your midterm grade. I’m holding no grudges, I swear… . what I’m trying to say is, your life is lived by no one else, but you. So why try to please anybody else?
Wear what you want even if you feel overdressed. Eat that cheeseburger and order that extra shake and not care about that diet you told people you were going on a couple of hundred times. Laugh until you snort and don’t care what people think. Sing at the top of your lungs, windows down, with your inner Christina Aguilera voice. This is your life. No one else’s. A life lived well is a life not afraid of judgment.
Do things out of your comfort zone.
I don’t care if it’s skipping class on a Tuesday or standing up to your boss or jumping 2,500 feet out of a plane or trying sushi for the first time. It doesn’t matter the extent of your comfort zone; it just matters that you go out of it. In order for life to be realized, it needs to be exciting. Good memories aren’t created by never going out of the box. Never pushing or challenging yourself. The only way you can grow as a person, is to test your own limits. To live a little. To live your life.
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Be independent. Stand on your own.
I quoted this in my blog a little while ago, and I need to quote it again. I honestly can’t get enough of this phrase. In How to be Single, my girl, Dakota Johnson, was referring to being single, but I feel like this quote pertains to life itself just as equally. She said, “You should cherish it. Because in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment, when you’re not tied up… one moment, when you stand on your own.” Now, I don’t know about you, but I enjoy independence more than anything.
I like “me-time.” I like time to reflect by myself and unwind and think and have fun and laugh and smile. I like my time to challenge myself and work hard. I appreciate the mistakes I make. Point being, you’re so important. You don’t need anyone else to prove that. Appreciate your own time on your own terms. Appreciate yourself and your independence and everything that you bring to the table.
So, I was jamming to Elle King’s new album while writing this —which is amazing. If you haven’t listened to it yet, please do. I recommend “Good Thing Gone” to put you in the feels and “Baby Outlaw” for an empowering, workout song. But one of the lyrics stood out: “Time is a stubborn affair.” And it’s true. Every second that passes, we will never get it back.
The people we pass on the street, we may never see again. We say we want time to slow down, but the fact is, it’s impossible. But appreciating, recognizing and living life, now that’s not so impossible. Passionately observe your surroundings, and not your phone. Thoroughly realize everything has detail. Focus on you and not judgment. Push and challenge yourself, in any way. And stand up, and stand on your own. We’ve been given this gift of life. Please don’t take it for granted.