As a sophomore, I came back into this semester feeling more comfortable with surroundings; I knew what to do and where to go. After visiting a friend at another college, the definition of what a “college experience” is really became stuck in my mind. I never went out and partied in high school so coming into college, I was excited for an experience I never really had. I was so excited to start meeting people, making friends and really just having a blast all the time. Though, that was not really what happened.
I struggled with meeting people, and my roommate was never there so I was really on my own. I made a couple of friends, but it was nothing like I imagined from what I saw in movies, read about or saw online. I started to become nervous and upset at the thought that I was missing out on something and wouldn’t have memories about my “college days.”
I really thought that going out to drink on the weekends, always being around people and doing crazy stuff, was a part of it. For some reason, I got so upset at the thought of missing out. The summer before I started at my current university, I was bombarded with questions about my major and if I was excited. I was also reminded to go out and have fun.
There is so much talk about the partying in college that no one really thinks or talks about anything else. Sure, it would have been nice to go to a couple parties here and there, but I really did not want to do it. The idea freaked me out. But because this is what I thought I should be doing, and what everyone told me to be doing, I thought I had to.
Social media plays a big part into this. I saw people every weekend posting pictures against tapestries and in dark basements with big smiles on their faces, suggesting that they were having the time of their life. It felt like an even bigger weight was put on my shoulders because I saw everyone else having so much fun but knew that I wasn’t experiencing it. There is so much unneeded pressure from movies about going out to parties in college. In reality, sometimes that just is not the case. And that is totally okay.
Everything you do in college is a part of the “college experience.” It does not have to include what everyone else is doing and what you think you should be doing. There is no pressure to have stereotypical colleges years. My first year, I was weighed down with pressure and was sad about what I thought I should be doing instead of actually enjoying it. When Friday night rolled around, I would get hit with a wave of anxiety because I was not living up to expectations. I’ve come to realize that I created these expectations, not anyone else.
There is no real reason that a college experience has to include partying. There is nothing wrong with it if you do, but there should not be this weight on people that they have to be doing it. Those who don’t go out shouldn’t be looked at like they’re not living their best life or having fun, full college years. I have good memories of high school without going out to parties; my friends and I still always found a way to have fun.
So, if you don’t find yourself going out every weekend to some frat basement, I am here to tell you that it is okay, and life will go on. Sometimes that movie night in your common room with your suite-mates is really better than the norm of parties.
It is hard to overlook what everyone else is doing but try to remember that it’s okay to not be a party animal because there is more to college than just going out and getting drunk. It’s about trying to learn things about yourself and gain knowledge while maturing. Going to classes, learning to balance life and being out on your own is also a college experience. Luckily, I found girls to live with that I adore who have helped me find my ideal college experience. It may not be the one I had pictured, but that’s fine with me.