The Need for Approval of Others -- Get Rid of It

Be honest with me here, have you ever been so afraid of people's reactions to something you’ve done/are doing, that you don’t tell anyone about it? Maybe you’ve started seeing this new guy and haven’t told a soul about him because you’re slightly afraid of what those closest to you will think of him. Of course you slip up in the middle of a casual dinner with your parents and best friend leading to them to freak out. Instantly, you’re hit with the guilt trip and an overwhelmingly red, hot face. Oops?

So you rush to an explanation of why you’ve hidden your new beau from your loved ones, especially your BFFL. All that actually comes out from your mouth though is just word vomit consisting of a spluttering mess along the lines of, “uh, um, eh, well...”. Or maybe you just lie your way through and it comes out of your mouth as quickly as one can say “Pinocchio”. The pressure is on and this is exactly why you didn’t want to even mention it to anyone in the first place.

Maybe you’ve hid certain things because you’re seeking the approval of others? But really, for what, dude? It’s your life; you’re the one who’s gotta be happy at the end of the night! If you could go to sleep happy with the decisions that you’ve made and the way that your life is going in the current moment, then you’re doing alright.

Feeling like you need to explain yourself fully to people? Nah, forget that! Save your breath. I’ve realized that if someone told you to do the complete opposite of what you want to do, at the end of the day, you’re still more likely to do what you want to do regardless. Hence the saving of your breath. We all think differently and that’s a fact. Sometimes, other people just don’t understand the things that we do. And that’s okay.

There is a little voice in the back of your head that is always saying something. Now, it’s totally up to you on whether or not you actually listen to it and follow through. Not to go all New York-Italian on you but alls-I’m-gunna-say is that most of the time, it’s right. That other half of the time, it’s just your comfort zone guard screaming for you to get back inside because something crazy is about to go down.

Something really necessary to learn in life is trusting yourself. You’ll get to trusting others and whatever but really, trusting yourself, which includes your own judgement, your thoughts and your own opinions, is one of the hardest things to actually come to peace with. Trust your gut and that little voice in your head; it’s your voice of reason. Maybe instead of trusting what other people have to say, trust your own voice every once in a while. You are the one that knows yourself best.

Unfortunately, you can lead a horse to the water but can’t make ‘em drink. Along with that, you can bring yourself to what’s been known as the tallest, best apple tree that’s miles upon miles away but you won’t know if it’s true till ya get there yourself. BaSiCaLlY what I’m trying to say through my not-needed, cliché little sayings is that people (including yourself!) have to find things out on their own. People can shout about what they believe all they want but you’re never going to actually listen to what they say if you don’t want to. It’s important to experience and go through situations to learn the lesson. That’s the best way to learn, scratch that, it’s typically the only way to learn and get it stuck in your head.

So, get rid of the feeling of having to get approval from others. Because really, you don’t have to. Ever. (Well, okay, maybe to you have to get your mom’s or dad’s but they’re the exception.) Do what is good for you and don’t ever be afraid of what others may think about your decisions. This is your life, the movie in your point of view; you’re the writer, the director, the producer and the star. Get rid of seeking approval from other writers, directors, producers and stars.