The psychology conference is in 22 days, which means commencement can’t be any farther than 40. In fact, I’m pretty sure the countdown says 39 days today. Which is utterly incomprehensible to me because I could have swore that I was flipping my 2015 silver encrusted tassel to the other side of my cap as I fled the Howell High School football field yesterday.
High school was absolutely awful. I am not sure if there are actually people who graduate high school and go “I am so sad” because for me, that was never the right emotion to put on the experience. I was the girl who wore polka dot skirts and had really thick straight-across bangs (no regrets, I went through a huge bang evolution to find the right ones for my face, which do exist by the way). But college was different. The fact that I have to use the past tense to describe my college experience because most of those days are behind me is enough to make me emotional. College is something I’ll always remember.
I won’t go into the details of my acceptance to Monmouth, but I remember being sad. Ironically enough, I wanted to run as far away from New Jersey as I could. My eyes were set on New York, the big city. I wanted to run (or take a train) to New York and finally be “with my people.”
Now as an adult, I cannot roll my eyes farther into the back of my head when recalling the mindset of my teenage psyche. The best advice I could give to my teenage self is that there is no such thing as “finally meeting your people.” You figure if you run far enough, the mean people will go away. The insecurities will go away. But that is not the case. And something I had to learn is that I was the mean person, I am probably the meanest person I have ever encountered. But as I finish up the good old college experience, I can say that I am on my way to being a lot nicer to myself.
So I stayed in New Jersey for the next four years following high school. And it was fine; I did not die, and neither did my dreams. In fact, I discovered my real dreams. And I met some amazing people along the way.
When I graduated high school, I didn’t think it was possible to meet any cool people in New Jersey. I had a bitter taste in my mouth given the people who went to my high school and the encounters I have had. But let me tell you, being twenty changes people. Sure, you will still meet some immature twenty year olds, of course. But I can honestly say the people that I have met throughout college have all taught me something valuable.
Life isn’t about the place at all, it is about the people and what you make of it. As cheesy as it sounds, that is the truth. And going to Monmouth was the best decision I have ever made, even though my teenage self was crying by the bannister of my old house even thinking about it.