It is that time of year again. The seemingly endless stream of pictures of rose bouquets, Michael Kors pocketbooks, and for the girls like me, a bottle of wine for one. Valentine’s Day used to be the day in February when we wrote out cards for our fellow classmates and gave them out with a piece of candy or a cupcake. Now, Valentine’s Day is an overrated day where love is faked for as long as dinner and a movie lasts.
I am ambivalent when it comes to the topic of “Love.” I want to believe that it is real and that it is worth being scared about but maybe I am romanticizing romance? If you look back in history, wars were fought over love. The most popular is the Trojan War but this is not a history lesson. But if history has taught us anything, it is that love is so powerful and passionate that one would take on a whole army for the one they love.
That is the problem, though.
Modern day romance (if any still exists) is running down like sand in an hour glass. I do not want to generalize a whole population so I will just write from personal experience. The guys, well, boys, that I have dealt with are the reason that I am starting to accept the very possible fate that I will own seven dogs and die alone. I know how completely dramatic that sounds but I am not being crazy about this.
It appears that between the ages of 17 and 23, let’s call this the “college age,” the emotions of guys are minimized to basically zero. From what I have experienced, some guys are in committed relationships into the college age but when they suffer a breakup, the sirens go off in their heads to get over their exes by going through as many people as possible. I will not say that this only applies to guys because there are some cold hearted girls out there.
I think that our problem as a generation is that we do not know how to maturely process and cope with our emotions. We are so caught up in being someone’s “person” (thanks to Grey’s Anatomy) that when that person lets us down, we feel lonely, useless and unwanted. That is why we are the generation of “no strings attached” and relationships because no committment means no way of getting hurt. But these constant meaningless rendezvous make us so emotionally numb to the point that when we actually feel something for someone, we are terrified and do not know how to go about it.
I must admit that I am terrified of trusting someone. Living in a world where loyal people are completely taken for granted and cheated on makes the whole seven dogs and living alone thing sound splendid. I am trying to be more open to guys who are not my type, but when the general reaction of guys is to ditch when I stay true to my values, it makes me lose hope.
I understand that I do not need a man or anyone to complete me, but it would be nice to see compassion coming from someone other than myself. That is why I am completely content with spending this Valentine’s Day with a glass of wine in hand and singing along to the soundtrack of Grease. I know that cliche that loves happens when you least expect it so that is why I will gladly welcome Valentine’s Day as a single woman with open arms. I know that one day when we all grow up and learn how to be okay with loving and being loved in return, I will be spending Valentine’s Day with someone who will love me far before, during, and after the dinner and movie are over.