Staff Writers Katt Maloney and Max Jacobs share their relationship advice!
There are so many advantages and disadvantages to being in a relationship versus being single while in college, while in your early 20s, and during this time of our life when we’re supposed to be “free” of obligations and things that “tie us down.” As a couple we determined that there are more positives than negatives of being in a relationship at our age. As part one of a two-part article, we’ll only be addressing the positves here, but will get around to the negatives, too. We hope that: if you’re in a relationship, you’ll have a renewed faith in your relationship; if you’re single, you still love yourself and find someone who loves you just as much!
1) You grow together
Katt
The four years you spend in college are the most formative years of your life! Between studying abroad, taking crazy classes, and having jobs and internships, you change so much over these four years and there is no denying that! However, I can’t imagine not having a significant other to experience the past four years with: someone to keep me in check, be a shoulder to lean on when the stress is crazy, and be there for my proudest moments in college. While we haven’t done everything together, it’s great that we’ve been able to growth together and as individuals- I love that we will always have memories together to talk about years and years from now. I believe that people feel intimidated about relationships in college because they fear that it will hold them back from pursuing their dreams, but if you have a good, supportive partner, they’ll encourage you to set your mind to and accomplish all of your goals!
2) Being “yourself” easy!
Katt
As I said before, the four years you spend in college, including the formative first years of your career, are full of changes to who you are as a person as you figure out the path you want to go down. Who would be better to spend your time with than someone who loves you for you- regardless of who “you” are from one day to the next? Being in a long-term relationship in your 20s means that your partner is already used to all of your crazy whims, your grand plans and your pipe dreams. The best part is that they love you all the same, because that is what this time of our lives is about! I don’t think that anyone else could handle all of my crazy plans if they were just meeting me now! I’ll always be grateful for having someone who can deal with me changing religions every week (yes, this was my trend freshman year), and listing 25 reasons why I have to move to Idaho (that was junior year).
3) Failing is okay
Max
Being in your 20s is a incredible time: it’s your time to explore yourself and the world and figure out where you fit. In order to get there though, you need to be able to let yourself fail, pick up the pieces, and know when to ask for help. Being in a relationship during when all of this is going on has kept me steady. Katt has been my rock through many difficult times, standing by me thorough the ups and downs. I’ve been there for her too when things have gotten rough: this commitment to boost each other up when the other feels like giving up only has driven some of the greatest successes in our college careers. Being in a relationship gives you that opportunity with someone you deeply care about by your side, there is nothing you cannot do. Having a committed relationship in your 20s can help to fill in the gaps where perhaps family doesn’t understand, or where you have issues that you don’t want to discuss with friends, co-workers or peers. That “built-in confidant” that your significant other becomes is so important and can really help to guide you, see #1…you’re growing up together!
4) You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else!
Max
Relationships (long term ones, at least) force you to fess up to issues you might be sweeping under the rug. If you want to care about someone, you have to practice self-care to be able to do so! This is so vital to a relationship, just think about it: if you’re dating somebody that doesn’t take good care of themselves physically or emotionally, you’re stuck with their baggage, with nothing left for you, and vice-versa. That’s not what being 20 is about! If you decide that you want a real, long term relationship, make sure that you put your awesome self first, and that your significant other does the same. If you are able to do this, you will have your 20s be vibrant, happy, fun… and most of all, in a relationship with your best friend by your side.
Next up: Taken at 21: The Cons of Being in a Relationship at 21!